whole lotta shakin' goin' on

It had to happen eventually. I had always imagined that I'd experience an earthquake in, say, California. In fact, my grandfather (who lived in Las Vegas) was said to have prayed for The Big One to arrive thus giving him Pacific-front property.

So, I'm sitting at my table reading another George R.R. Martin book and having lunch when I feel a vibration on the floor. The kids were home, I figured it was them. I looked over towards the TV, where they'd take up a fixed address if they could, and noticed they weren't moving. Um, so if it's not them what's causing this? The washing machine, had to be. Except, um, I didn't run any laundry and the chances that any of the fruits of my loins would : A) voluntarily run laundry; and B) do it without my knowledge were as remote as....an earthquake in central Maryland.

After eliminating those possibilities I figured it out. The glass started tinkling and the house started shaking and my daughter ran upstairs with eyes the size of dinner plates yelling "what's going on?!!"

Like a dummy, apparently, I got them out of the house. Many of my neighbors were milling around outside. My eldest daughter was busy facebooking the news almost instantaneously. Our phones went down (all of them, cell phones too). But e-mail and the wi-fi worked so I got the news fast enough. The TV news was nonexistent, they were running soaps.

A few minutes later I got an e-mail from my wife, whose experience was less.....vivid. She was apparently in a bathroom stall at the time. I suppose it was a...moving experience.

ba-dum-bump!

America the Furious

OK, I am more than aware that it's a logical fallacy to argue from the specific to the general. I'm going to do it anyway, so you've been warned. Our world would be much better if instead of "SPOILER ALERT" in every stupid article on a book or movie we'd use "LOGICAL FALLACY" in op-ed pieces, radio talk shows, and cable "news" propagandist channels.

But first, an aside; I was trudging through a workout yesterday at the gym (because, at my age, one simply trudges like a dull-witted beast of burden through such things) when the cable channels lit up with news that Col. Ghaddafi was about to be deposed. Life is a loop, a wheel, an endless run of river...I was similarly situated 8 years earlier watching US troops topple Saddam Hussein in Iraq.

Alas, Mr. Ghaddafi remains in power as of this morning. But the sands in the hourglass are dwindling fast.

I'm pretty sure if you're reading this that you know about the 49er-Raider brawl over the weekend. And, if you're a Facebook pal o'mine you might have watched the video I posted from the Ravens-Chiefs game wherein some Raven fans start shoving a Chiefs fan around. To those sorry instances I'll toss in the Dodgers-Giants fight in LA that left a San Francisco Giants fan hospitalized with brain injuries. Oh, and last season on my way back from a Redskins-Eagles game (the Monday nighter where Vick went apesh*t on the Redskins?) I witnessed at least 2 such brawls....that appeared to be between Redskin fans. Several years ago I saw Baltimore fans at a Ravens-Jaguars game start to menace and shove around a guy in a Jacksonville jersey. My children and I were threatened by Oriole fans because we had the audacity to cheer for the Red Sox at Oriole Park a few years ago. By the 3rd inning my kid weren't standing up to cheer for the Sox; when I asked why they said they were scared of the guys behind us (I'd been ignoring them). They kept it up for a few innings and got bored I guess.

My point in ennumerating them is that these are not isolated incidents. Yes, they're committed by guys (mostly) who are: 1) most likely drunk; and 2)probably the type that gets into these kind of scrapes regularly.

And, in the Bay Area brawl last weekend, well those guys look like the type---right? Yet, watch the Ravens clip (it's on youtube). There's a kid who looks like your average DMB/Phish fan dressed in the uniform of the Frat Boy (yet in a purple shirt, why purple?) who decides it's OK to walk up to the Chiefs fan and start shoving him around.

There's no audio, perhaps there was verbal provocation but I doubt it. And, for his trouble, the young fella gets knocked out; his buddies were numerous though and they...uh...defended his honor.

If you've been to games you've probably heard and seen this. Anger. Threats. There's a line between good-natured "Ah, get outta here ya bum" when another team's fan is cheering on his team and the outright hostility that you sometimes see. I'm not trying to be disingenuous here, I realize that millions of us go to these games every year and that out of those millions we're seeing maybe 100 such incidents (if that) a year.

But what the hell are people so angry about? That a guy roots for another team? That he/she is different than you?

There's a parallel to our national discourse on politics and policy. On the left we have MSNBC and some of the CNN shows that espouse liberalism; and on the right we have Fox. CNN tries to straddle the line but leans left. The talking heads employed by all of those networks exalt their agendas over the agendas of the "other." Newspapers have been doing this for years.

At some point some genius decided that it was more important to present the public with "news pieces" that appealed to our emotions. And, at some point, they also discovered that we as a country had become lazy. We like to read and hear "news" items that reflect and reinforce what we already believe to be true. The basic function of news as a mere recitation of fact is nearly extinct, we have no one to blame for this except for our own laziness as people.

That all starts, I'm arguing, with the fact that we don't challenge ourselves. We surround ourselves with like-minded people. We watch and read things that reinforce and reflect our own beliefs and prejudices. We spin nice little cocoons that shield us from anything that would threaten our reality.

And, when we feel that cocoon is threatened, there's anger and hostility.

Look at this morning's news. In the Washington Post there's a guy lampooning Governor Perry for his stance on global warming. Rush Limbaugh is using the new Oreo cookie to make an overtly racist Obama joke (which he'll get away with, for reasons only the devil knows). Democrats demonize Republicans and vice versa.

There's barely a discussion of policy pros and cons, there's simply: "This is what I think. You're stupid and wrong if you think otherwise and you're ideas are bad for America."

In other words, "you don't root for my team and so you deserve to be punched."

This country is a good place to live and has good people in it, but we're nothing more than that. We're not Egyptians or Canannites who believe that God (or gods) granted us a Divine right to exercise dominion over the globe we were fortunate enough to be born on. What sets us apart from other countries has been our ability as a people to forge common ground.

Sometime in the 1980's they started self-esteem as part of the educational curricula in schools, which I thought was rubbish. I do wonder, sometimes, if the attitudes of young people have been warped into consequences that weren't intended by the authors of that curricula. When you're convinced that you're the greatest ever and life doesn't fall into place as you'd hoped....when you make yourself the center of the universe in your own mind and no one recognizes your self-appointed greatness......are fear, anger, and fury the only rational response.?

Or....hell....it could just be the beer.

Monday rhymes with "Fun day"

Well, today is like most days therefore it's just another day with nothing really fun about it. But if you're like me you're having a better day than Raffie Furcal is....he sprained his wrist slipping or stumbling on a dugout railing. Good shortstop in his day, I remember this nose-picking episode from the 2008 NLCS wherein the Dodgers really didn't have much of a prayer against the Phillies.

Some things (like boogers) should be saved for the privacy of one's home. Or at the very least a stall.

How 'bout those Redskins? Becks looked like a real NFL QB against the "sort-of trying but Peyton is injured" Colts. Anyone else see that scar on the back of Manning's neck? I'd think twice before putting him on my fantasy football team.

'Skins looked competent rather than "Juggernaut-esque." My eldest had a "preview" marching band performance Friday night that always inspires dread....not for the performance as much as for the band director's long-windedness - hence I'm anxious to simply watch the kids play their music so I can also see most of the Redskin game. At about 6:20 Friday, I guess because storms were lurking in the evening skies, the band director cut herself short and just let the kids play. My kid's band sounded great, they'll have a good season in their ridiculous looking outfits.

Somehow, miraculously, I was home by the time Tim Hightower punched in the first TD of the game which was the only TD of the game. Not too shabby, really.

Still too early for any non-facetious predictions about the Redskins or any other team at this point. Injuries and assorted bulls@*& will affect the pointless exercise of predicting. In fact, I might boycott the idea of predicting at all simply because of the stupidity of the exercise: no one knows how it will all shake out and therein lies the fun of actually watching the games.

Duh!

Or, do I read a bunch of NFL prediction pieces simply to be able to point to how wrong "the experts" got it? Schadenfreude is an ugly, ugly thing.

Instead of reading junk sports pieces I've been reading actual books. On a lark (and because Borders is going out of business) I picked up the first of the "Song of Fire and Ice" books titled "Game of Thrones." It's a bit like "Lord of the Rings" and "Harry Potter" only it's exclusively for grown-ups (language, sex, and violence) - and it's pretty good stuff. And Stacey Schiff's "Cleopatra" which is historical-based "meta-history" .....there are very few primary sources from which to draw a larger view of the Egyptian queen (most of the Roman writers wrote their histories of her 100 years after her death) so Ms. Schiff infers many interesting notions from the record and her own imagination. A good read, almost a companion piece to "Game of Thrones." "

When you play the game of thrones you win or you die."

So, 2 and a half weeks and two books read (no, I'm not really bragging, merely reporting). And since the first book hooked me like a bloated fish I of course bought Book 2, and Book 3....I'm a consumer, it's what I do.

8 days till school starts, I'm nearly a liberated dude

This one's probably below the belt

This one comes to you from my youngest brother, who passed it along to me a few days ago. This Michele Bachman just keeps giving and giving.

We get the leaders we deserve. Somehow, this obscure politician who happens to speak like a complete nincompoop is attracting attention for (depending upon your views): her husband's gay-fixing counseling center; her policy stances; or her verbal gaffes.

Or, now, photographs. There's a different photo of her husband out there in which he is pretending to stick a corn dog up his nose. Let's hope it's not the exact same one.

I'm really growing to hate American politics. Well, I've never lived anywhere else so I should probably simply use the word "politics" as the object of the previous sentence. In either case, with the exception of Pres. George H.W. Bush in 1988, we've been electing demagogues to the office. In the cases of Reagan and Clinton, those demagogues were actually able to govern. Since 2004, however, I'm skeptical. I think Pres. George W. Bush's first term holds up, but his second was clearly an administration that lurched from crisis to crisis whilst sparring with a Democratic Congress. Now, Pres. Obama is in the same boat. Coalition governance is simply nonexistent, I suppose this is because neither side has any incentive to truly bridge the policy gaps.

And, why? The calendar today reads August 18, 2011. In a year, we'll be in the thick of an election where the House and Senate are up for grabs. So's the Presidency, but I shudder to think of the silliness that will be descending upon us this time next year. Ugh.

As of today, I can't vote for anyone on the Republican side with the glaring exception of - perhaps - Mitt Romney. He's not particularly flashy when compared to his competitors but he has a solid resume of executive experience coupled with a record of policy achievements in a state dominated by Democrats.

Of course, I'd have voted for McCain if he hadn't tossed another demagogue on his ticket. My guess is that Candidate Romney - if he gets that far - will put another lunatic on the ballot as well in order to try and appease the crazies.

Let's hope they don't serve corn dogs.

No, not the Redskins this time

Oh, hi!

Watching the "Today" show this morning and they profiled this 4-year old Mississippi preacher who's obviously mimicking his father or someone else he's seen. I needed the "hearing impaired" subtitles to understand just what in God's name the child was saying because I just couldn't understand the kid. It sounded like high-pitched gibberish to my old worn down ears.

I really hate when parents steal their own child's childhood for their own self-promoting agendas. I'm sure the kid enjoys attending church with his family and believes in Jesus, etc., but the parents who allow this to become a national story are lousy parents. So are the "stage moms" (or dads) who toss the fruit of their loins into the kid's beauty pageants. For that matter, you've probably seen some lousy parents at your own local kid's athletic leagues.

"Verbal shrug." What're ya gonna do, other than complain? Answer: not much, but complaining sounds fine to me, thank you very much.

Oh, look! Kate Gosselin's show was cancelled. Must be coincidence. Please, sweetie (and your AWFUL haircut) don't go away mad....just go away.

OMG they're adequate!

GET YOUR NEEDLE AND THREAD READY, GRANDMA, WE NEED ROOM FOR "2011"!!!!!

It's halftime of the Epic Redskins/Steelers preseason game that is so very obviously a preview of February's Super Bowl XLWhateverthehellnumver we'reon and it's so clear that Rex Grossman will indeed be the NFL's MVP and that Tim Hightower will win the rushing title and that Santana Moss will catch more balls than [insert off-color comment here]. Obviously, you can't run on this first team defense and you must give much credit to the Redskins offensive line - they're giving Sexy Rexy all this time to throw.

I've got a special feeling about this team. No, I haven't had a single thing to drink, why do you ask?

Logging in to NFLShop.com, ordering Grossman jerseys for the whole family right now!

Another year, I'm still a sucker

Those of us who continue to root for your Washington Redskins can still recall the euphoria that existed when Snyder signed this big fella. "Oh, wow, they'll be awesome!"

Er.........as my eldest daughter says...."FAIL."

[Or, in another of my many abusive parantheticals....recall the signing of Dana Stubblefield and Dan Wilkinson, or Jeff George, or Jessie Armstead and Jeremiah Trotter, Deion, Brandon Lloyd, Bruce Smith, the list is extensive and the only good ones have been Brad Johnson and London Fletcher]

So this year it's on to bigger and better things. Or, not. That, they say, is why the game is played. On the field, I guess they mean. And there are 16 games plus playoffs. Oh, and "exhibition" games that are referred to as "pre-season." I'm digressing.

One of my goals moving forward is to update this blog more often, with shorter entries so it's more like a real blog instead of some weird kind of written therapy session where the shallow contents of my mind simply spill out onto a page. As you can tell, I'm at war with that impulse. White space? We must fill it.

Wait a sec, wasn't one of my stated goals to fill up the Internet?

Today the Redskins host the Steelers in an exhibition game where nothing will count save for injuries. If you go you must pay full price for a seat, of course. The Steelers are a known quantity of Super Bowl caliber players who came up rather short in the big game last February (oh, so sorry Steeler nation, ya bunch of pierogi-eating Hunyaks). I am willing to be actual cash money that they'll be in the hunt for the AFC crown this winter, along with New England (my less-loved second wife), Baltimore, and San Diego. Pittsburgh has a QB-cum-unconvicted felon, some pretty good WR's and of course a tremendous defense.

The Redskins? Let's NOT use the term "Re-building." That only applies if something had - at some point- been built. Mr. Snyder has owned the team for 12 years or so and has never actually attempted to build a team but instead preferred to attempt to buy one.

This is nothing outrageous. Click on DC Sports talk and you'll hear every third caller say as much.

I am actually encouraged by this year's approach. In response to the 2008-10 Zorn debacle Danny hired a GM and "The Shanahan Boys" to clean house. In 2010-11, that didn't happen. Blame was laid squarely upon the shoulders of Donovan McNabb and Fat Albert.

O.....K........

Now they're gone and so are the excuses they helped to spawn. It also appears that the aforementioned brain trust is trying to build a team through ACTUALLY USING draft picks and hiring younger, hard-working players through free agency.

[Another abuse of grammar: please to be recalling that the Redskins drafting abilities are suspect....see "Howard, Desmond;" or "Westbrook, Michael;" or "Shuler, Heath"]

I'm encouraged. I'm hoping that the management crew does in-fact have a plan and will stick to it. 2011-12 is, for we Redskins fans, more than likely a lost season. I'm all in favor of hoping that John Beck or Sexy Rexy can actually complete a pass....I'm just not all that optimistic that it will happen. In fact, I think the team's offense will once again stink. The D is stocked with those young guys and I think that by mid-season they'll be playing decent football.

My heart wants to say 16-0, Beck's the league MVP and in February there's a Lombardi Trophy paraded through Georgetown, just like when I was in high school.

My head says 6-10 at best, with glimmers of hope for next year. This team will still need a reliable Offensive line and should hope and pray that they find a franchise QB someday before I'm too old to care.

"Hail to the Redskins, we're gonna kinda blow this yeeeeearrrr"......Sing it!

Ride on

It's August 11th, and I'm only now beginning to reflect. There's a lot of reasons for that, of course, but excuses are for sucks.

Oh, my trip ? Went fine. The Great Smoky Mountains are well worth your time. Gatlinburg, TN is a tourist trap....and Pigeon Fork, TN is an even bigger and gaudier tourist trap. Skip all that crap and ascend into the mists of the Appalachians. Our little troupe wandered about 20 miles (in total) on various hiking trails, seeing black bears, deer, flora, and some magnificent views.

Only one of us - the littlest one- almost fell off a mountain. Fortunately, his dad was there to grab him. It is tough work to hike up a mountain with 4 kids who aren't used to it, and sometimes those kids get tired.

I think we'll recall the names of the trails: Alum Cave, Chimney Tops, Andrew's Bluff. It was fun, exhausting, and amazing.

Then we trekked to Atlanta which looks like Baltimore but has a bigger and better Aquarium. The whale sharks are indeed impressive, really the whole Aquarium was. Pretty cool place to visit. We skipped the World of Coke and the CNN tour, opting instead to hang out in the Centennial Olympic Park and our hotel.

From there we moved northeast to Fayetteville, NC to see my brother Tom and his family to celebrate my nephew Tommy's 6th birthday. It was a rather large group of kids and kin, but a fun way to end the trip after so many hours on the road.

I think it's taken a couple weeks to re-acclimate to life. Returning home from vacations - especially good ones - suck.

So, like I said, it's August 11th. I started this blog in 2010 (I think) as a way to chronicle the last years of my "stay-at-home dadness"..... and in all of 18 days from now my little guy begins Kindergarten. I think I've been waiting for this day since 2006 when he was born and now that it's getting closer and closer it saddens me in a way I hadn't expected it to. I've taken the little fellow from diapers, bottles, and Thomas the Tank Engine to big-boy pants, glasses, and Spongebob. Just the other day he was letting me know that Thomas simply wasn't all that great anymore, but I still pictured him in his little overalls and conductor's hat sitting on his little train anyway.

It's all part of the process, I know. This ain't my first time at the rodeo, but I'm very aware that it's my last.

He won't need me anymore, not like he has anyway. And, with that, my world becomes a much different one. This is equally a saddening and liberating moment.