Bela Lugosi's Dead

Well, when I was younger this was what the weird, cool kids listened to. He is indeed dead, by the way.

When the calendar turned to October I thought I might spend some of the month writing about something I really love watching, and that would be scary movies. Life got in the way, as it does. This isn't a tragedy, but I've got a few free minutes now and I've been watching some "scary" flicks lately, so it's on my mind.

"American Scary," the documentary I mentioned a day ago in my previous entry, focused almost entirely on the Creature Feature host. The movies? Not at all. One last point about those hosts of the past.....I've flipped through the book "Bowling Alone" and to an extent I agree with Robert Putnam. Technology is not a replacement for human interaction. The advances made in our media, likewise, have consolidated matters to an extent that what is "local" is constantly shifting. In fact, a person living today can completely and totally cocoon themselves in a world of like-minded fellow citizens...to the exclusion of any other point of view.

What's this gotta do with Creature Feature hosts?

Well, when the small fibers that make up a community are snipped, little by little that sense of commonality disappears. To a very small extent, those entertainers brought us together regardless of race, creed, or political leanings. There weren't "right-wing" hosts, or "liberal" hosts, it was as shared experience.

Plus, there's a "charm" factor to those guys and gals. And, obviously, I'm feeling nostalgic about it all. You rock, Count Gore DeVol.

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Back to the movies, themselves. I digress too much, I realize this.

As I've said on this page before, my mom introduced me to the monster movie. We loved 'em, and still do. A silly Godzilla flick can break up the monotony of a rainy afternoon as well - if not better- than a video game. We can watch them and goof on them together - and have fun doing it.

Not really anything scary there, though.

Shall I do a list? hmm.....when you're out of ideas, go with a list. Here's a few real oldies, and I'll add more modern movies in the days to come. Not necessarily scary, but there are creepy moments in all of them.

Dracula (1931): one of the best, and you can tell it's great because it defined - for nearly 70 years anyway -the image of the vampire. Yeah, there's a flick that pre-dated this one called "Nosferatu" that's a silent film and whose antagonist is an ugly beast, but Lugosi's monster has screen presence. He's not really scary, but commands every scene he's in. The movie does a good job of paring down the novel it's based on into an hour, so stuff's cut out. I'm no film historian, but in this movie the villain steals the show - and I have no idea if this was the first instance of that phenomena occurring on film or not.

Freaks (1932): this one haunted me. I think I saw it around '88 or '89 as part of a cult film festival. Banned in several countries and chopped up by various editors, it's something of a legendary film. Directed by the same guy (Todd Browning) who made "Dracula," it tells the story of a greedy woman doomed to a gruesome fate. The final scenes are far more creepy and chilling than most of the modern scary movies.

The Black Cat (1934): interesting film that addresses war, the human psyche, perversions, Satanic cults, and revenge. Lugosi and Boris Karloff are the stars, former WW1 vets who find each other in post-war Hungary. It ends in awful violence, and somehow what the viewer doesn't see is worse than (as in the torture porn movies today) what you can see. The movie plays games with the "who's the real bad guy?" plot, and in the end everyone gets what's coming to them.

Bride of Frankenstein (1935) : better then the original, which is pretty good. This one gives us a persecuted monster (yeah, played by Boris Karloff) being chased from place to place by people who are revolted by his appearance, even if he saves them from (for example) drowning. The mad scientists seek to give the poor bastard a mate, but- as he says - "she hate me, like them" or something like that. The monster in this movie shows himself to be a true Roman noble, with his last words being "we belong dead". Then.....KA-blooie!

OK, OK, so this is a bunch of old movies. And I left out a few I liked, like Creature from the Black Lagoon ( a redux of the "lost world" story) and the first Godzilla (a barely disguised atomic bomb allegory). What I notice is that the older movies aren't afraid of PLOT or DIALOGUE. My kids sit there and say "Dad, why do they talk so much?" It's true, the characters in the movie have extensive scenes of expository dialogue that - I guess - is too much for the ADD mind-set of today. They also tell STORIES. There are action sequences in them, to be sure, but these movies aren't the current dreck of action scene after action scene after action scene. In reality, these are little more than dramatic stories that have supernatural or sci-fi elements to them. Most are tragedies, or at least have tragic figures in them. None are especially SCARY, as we understand that term right now. There's no blood or gore, not much in terms of on-screen violence....but what is implied is worse. I guess that's what I find unsettling...that uneasy, creeped-out feeling I get when I watch some of these movies.

So, maybe watch a couple of these in the next few days. As Lugosi says, near the end of Dracula, "there are worse things than death."

Ya don't know what ya got, till it's gone

I just finished watching a piece of fanboy video in the guise of a documentary that had as its' subject matter the rise and demise of the local "horror host." It's called "American Scary," and it's a trip down memory lane.

When I was a kid, my mom plop us in front of the TV for "Monster Week" and the local TV stations would run lots of bad horror movies or monster movies. Oftentimes, my mom would watch with us. The movies themselves were almost always awful, with lousy dialogue and comically bad special effects. Among my favorites were any and all of the "Godzilla" movies and the old Hammer Dracula films which starred Christopher Lee.

As most of you might recall, if you're around my age, we used to ALSO have the "Creature Feature" shows that would run late-night on Fridays or Saturdays, and those were "hosted" by someone dressed in a costume with a cheesy set, etc.

Where I lived, it was Count Gore De Vol, who was also Captain 20 in DC.

But I'm losing my focus, what with all these run-on sentences.

Ever wonder where those guys or gals went?

The easy answer is corporate consolidation. In the late 1980's these local shows were phased out in favor of info-mercials...I mean, if you can make $6,000 for an info-mercial why pay that same $6,000 to put on a silly kid's TV show? Makes sense to me.

But, when you take people out of the world - or out of each other's lives - you lose soul. While it's true that silly Creature Feature shows were often laughably bad, they (and the kid's TV hosts that used to exist) helped create a sense of community, as corny as that sounds. I can remember sending my birthday information to Channel 20 (again, in DC) just to hear Captain 20 wish me a happy birthday, or sending in entries to whatever contest they had going (one year it was "Spin n Win" where you could get an Atari 2600 system and a several games, my brother Tom and I tried to win a bunch of times).

As dumb as all of that sounds, I think it's true in a sense. There's only so much "sameness" people want in their lives. It's why some folks are motivated to keep a McDonalds or Wal Mart out of their town. I think this is true on TV and radio as well. We're inundated with the same crap: Judge shows; the aforementioned info-mercials; the same radio playlists since 1995.......reality TV ad nauseam. Can you feel it? In a world where big media corporations crow about how much choice we have as consumers, it seems there are fewer choices than ever.

OK, now I'm not attempting to argue that America died when the local UHF stations started airing whatever programming they wanted to air. I'm merely lamenting the loss. Yeah, I'm sentimental that way.

.500 is not great

My recently busy schedule has kept me from babbling about Sunday night's Redskin game, which I'll do in a sec.

Lovely moment on the Today show this morning, where the Kentucky race for the US Senate was highlighted. Apparently, a Democrat named Conway is attacking Tea Party douchebag Rand Paul's Christianity. This must play well in Kentucky.....but doesn't it have NO RELEVANCE AT ALL?! As I understand the story, Mr. Paul was involved with a "group" in his college days that mocked Christianity. Ooooook. And this proves...what?

So, Mr. Paul, instead of a rational response in days where it's OK to attack a sitting President's faith regularly (which, likewise, matters NOT AT ALL), pitches a hissy fit and refuses to shake hands, etc. etc.

Ridiculous. I'll say it again, HOW DOES ANY OF THIS BULLSHIT MATTER?

By now, with 2 weeks left (there was an erroneous report on this blog that Election Day was November 9th.....and I still intend on voting November 9th anyway) till this awful election I'm betting most of you know who you'd like to vote for. It's beginning to feel like waiting for an execution or mercy-killing.....Just get it over with.

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I'm 28-31 for the season, and was 7-7 this week. That leaves me a whoppingly unimpressive 35-38 for the year. But it's been a season where some crazy stuff has happened, so I'll consider myself modestly successful.

Indy beats Redskins: Got this one right. But barely. Redskins had 2 chances late in the game to mount an offensive drive that would've tied or won this game. They obviously failed, and likewise failed to capitalize on several bad throws by Peyton Manning. But I'll take a close loss to one of the best QB's in the game when the Redskins have usually been exposed as a bush-league team in the past against great QBs like Manning.

Patriots beat Ravens: I took Pats at home. Loved watching this win, especially with the Ravens talking so much trash. Look, in 7 games the Patriots have beaten the Ravens 6 times, and lost once last January. That playoff loss (January 10th, 2010) was an ugly one, the Patriots didn't show up at all. Last Sunday? The Pats offense did just enough against an excellent Baltimore D and the Pats D did just enough against a decent-but-not-excellent-yet Baltimore Offense. Ravens fans? You have a good team, not a great one yet.

Minnesota beats Dallas: again, I got this right. Dallas keeps losing close games to good teams. I'm thinking that they'll start crushing teams sometime soon, but it might be November till that happens. Vikings might be headed in the right direction, unless their QB keeps misbehaving. Nice move, Brett, with the cancer surviving wife and all.

Saints beat Bucs: of course they did.

Seattle beats Chicago: whoops. Guess the Bears aint that good. See? Seattle's all over the place.

Miami beats Green Bay: Weird result, this was at Lambeau. So it goes.

St. Louis beats Chargers: of course, Norv's coaching, and he can't prepare an entire football team to play 60 minutes. Great offensive guy.....but.....

NY Giants beat Detroit: Team of Destiny is setting everyone up for a second-half explosion

Philadelphia beats Falcons: Whoops! I think I referred to Atlanta as "the best team in the NFC." I suppose, if that was the case, that I have been exposed as a nincompoop.

Pittsburgh beats Cleveland: the Rapist Returns. And he tags and bags an obviously intoxicated Browns team.

Houston beats KC: barely. Dammit. I saw the scores pop up while I was watching the Patriots game, and it looked like the Chiefs were gonna win, but then they didn't.

NY Jets beat Denver: duh. Jets are good.

SF beats Oakland: battle of the Bay, and the 49ers win a game, finally. Dammit, redux.

Tennessee beats Jax: Chris Johnson runs amok. I saw Kerry Collins in the game, but I might've been drunk. He might've been hung over. Still, I called this right.

7-7 for the week, 35-38 for the season. You're still making money if you're placing bets with me.

BLARGH!

Well, I've felt like this since Wednesday morning. Long, long week. Want a recap? Don't care? Well, for a few laughs - very few- read on. And my weekly football picks, of course.

My dad owns a beach house that's about 5 hours down the road from me. It was my grandmother's while she was alive and we all love it. But, it's older and needs work. The outside shows the wear and tear of sun and salt air - in addition to the regular homeowning chores (cleaning gutters, etc) that we all have. Except this requires a 10-hour round trip. Oh but wait, there's traffic to fight, too.

Oh, and the interior has older fixtures and is damaged as well. Plus, the place has been a dumping ground for furniture no one really wanted in their house so they'd stash it in the beach house. A very modest place became a very very cluttered modest place. But it's at the beach.

Anyway my youngest brother had purchased some new (smaller) sofas and needed help. We'd decided to take the opportunity to replace the old toilet (that always clogged, ewww) and clean up the dilapidated yard, and fix some other odds and ends.

I worked a little on Wednesday morning mowing my pal's tree field then jumped in the truck and ran to Towson for a headboard then ran to meet my brother in Severna Park. Then we drove 5 hours to the beach (or Hampton Roads, Tidewater, um....Virginia Beach). My brother complained about: 1) my driving; 2) the route I'd chosen; 3) my parental skills; and 4) just about every slow driver on the road.

But, even at its' worst, it was far better than a road trip with my kids.

So we get the sofas (delivered) and run to the Baja Cantina to enjoy their excellent fish tacos and some beer. My brother said he'd pay the meter.......of course you know there was a parking ticket on my window as we walked out.

No biggie. We picked up the new toilet and that was that. Being 2 married guys, hijinks and hilarity did not ensue.

Thursday morning was The Great Sofa Move of 2010, when 2 monstrous and extremely ugly and uncomfortable (but inexpensive) sofas met their fate. In addition to being huge and ugly and uncomfortable (I said that twice for emphasis) the were extremely heavy. Bye-bye, sofas. Breakfast was excellent, and if you're ever in Virginia Beach I recommend Nick's on Laskin Road, the sausage-egg-cheese sandwich is Aces.

Next up was a china cabinet, wherein I had the great idea of having my brother back the truck up to the landing allowing us to easily place the heavy piece of furniture on the bed of the truck. He gunned the engine, when the wheels bogged down, and nearly snapped my left leg in two with the tailgate.

Ouchies.

But I was fine. Thanks for worrying.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful but productive. We trimmed back overgrown foliage in the rain, installed a new toilet, and other unexciting crap. Honestly, when we get together and work, we can make a good team.

I think we finished it all up by 7pm Thursday and had pizza and beer at Chicho's (I recommend it, heartily) before the long ride home. Asleep by 1 AM, up at 7 for another day in paradise. And today I worked, took a sick child to the doctor's, and coached a hockey team.

I can sleep when I'm dead, I guess.

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I'm not doing so great, but I'm playing with house money.....

Indy at Redskins: I really REALLY want to pick my Redskins, but COLTS. Like every week, I think if the 'Skins scheme well enough and catch a few breaks (particularly on defense) they could win this game.

Baltimore at New England: PATS at home.

Seattle at Chicago: BEARS. Seahawks are erratic

Miami at Green Bay: PACKERS at home in chillier weather, despite injuries

San Diego at St. Louis: CHARGERS. Shaky choice for Norv's team.

Detroit at NY Giants: Team of Destiny won big last week, I'm feeling LIONS

Atlanta at Philadelphia: FALCONS might be the best team in the NFC

Cleveland at Pittsburgh: This just in, Big Ben e-mailed pictures of Little Ben to Jake Delhomme. STEELERS ....but this game might be close.

New Orleans at Tampa: SAINTS. No way they'll have another weird game like that Arizona game two weeks in a row.

KC at Houston: CHIEFS. Texans looking like the AFC version of the Redskins I'd grown accustomed to. Choking Dogs.

NY Jets at Denver: JETS.

Oakland at San Francisco: RAIDERS. Go, Jason Campbell, go...

Dallas at Minnesota: one of the toughest, if not THE toughest game to call this week. I think the Cowboys are better in terms of talent but that Minnesota defense is stout. Shaky vote for the VIKINGS

Tennessee at Jacksonville: does anyone care? TITANS

28-31 for the season, I could be doing far, far worse.

Enjoy Anvil

Not a great week

There's our boy! With the pre-op Jenn Sterger. Really. He took "her" for a ride, here, celebrating. Later, they visited "Favre's Junyard."

Rumor has it that last night at the New Meadowlands the Vikes-Jets game was postponed because Mr. Favre kept sending photos of the aforementioned Junkyard to the stadium's Jumbo-tron.

Yes, I made myself laugh. Yes, I am an idiot.

So, yet again, an American icon is taken down. I gotta say, I'm getting tired of our best and brightest reporting being wasted on the peccadilloes of politicians and celebrities. Somewhere in America, and in the world, are real problems and issues that aren't being reported on because....no one wants to read about that. We're all lazy, and prefer schadenfreude to investigative journalism.

We get the world we deserve, I guess.

Anyway, football picking is less precise than nose-picking:

GB lost to Washington. I keep picking against my 'Skins. And the Colts are on deck. Guess my pick next week? MISS

Jax beats Buffalo. I figured the Bills can't lose them all. I figured incorrectly. MISS

TB beats Cincy. Bucs are a team on the rise, Bengals are just inconsistent. MISS

Atlanta beats Cleveland: someone said the Falcons might be the NFC's best team. Hmm....HIT

Detroit beats St. Louis. YES. Finally. Can you say "run the table?" Team of Destiny starts to fulfill it. HIT

Indy beats KC. Close game. HIT

Chicago beats Carolina: HIT

Baltimore beats Denver: HIT

NY Giants beat Houston. Whaaa? What is happening in Houston? MISS

Arizona beats Saints: crazy game. MISS

Tennessee beats Dallas: the 'Boys are not out of it in a weak NFC (name three better teams.....) but each mounting loss means that Tony Romo is considering retirement and texting photos to Linda Cohn. MISS

Oakland beats Chargers: Jason Campbell cameos as a backup, Silver and Black show up to play an NFL game against Norv Turner. MISS

Philly beats 49ers: I figured San Francisco would be desperate. Nope. MISS

Jets beat Vikes: of course they did. The Vikes' QB is 41 and texting gals half his age.

Season record was 23-23, with a 5-8 week I'm in the hole again at 28-31. Not good.

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So, my stay-at-home existence is supposed to be relaxing and I often hear "well, what do you do all day?" I think life was easier when I simply had a job and would get up and out to a workplace. Now, everyone thinks I'm free to run hither thither and yon. Lots to do, so you folks who read this dreck (and there are actually people who read this, I'm shocked) will see less of me this week.

While I'm gone, enjoy Winger.

Hail Hail the gang's all here

I've been watching Redskin games a long time, never saw this guy. Not culturally sensitive. I laughed my ass off when I saw it. Preposterous. "The name Redskin is not referring to the color of a human being's skin..." says the Redskin media guide. Riiiiiiiiight. Exhibit A: Little Hiawatha here complete with Mohawk and Uggs.

Hey! Who saw that coming? I'm sure there's some big-brained Mensa type with a big old coll-ledge deeeee-gree who crunched the numbers in his or her number-crunching thing-a-ma-bob and saw DC beating Green Bay by 1,000 points. Not me.

No, this is not a blog about de-evolution.

Again, the theme of this Redskin season seems to me to be "so, this is what it's like to have a real quarterback." And, when I hear the word "quarterback" in my head it's pronounced the exact way Sonny Jurgensen says it, with the emphasis on "qua". McNabb again helps lead this team from what the type of discouraging loss we've become accustomed to around here to an amazing OT victory against a very good football team.

Moses McNabb, leading us out of exile.

Well, he wasn't perfect. And a 3-2 record evidences that. But last year, and in most of the previous 17 seasons, this would've been another loss.

The defense, again, schemed well. There were very few big plays. The Redskin d-backs can't cover a tupperware dish, but LaRon Landry can play football. As the season is progressing, Rocky McIntosh is having a pretty solid season as well, and London Fletcher is older but still a contributor. Still, they aint a bunch of superstars. Not enough push from the D-linemen, too many missed tackles and dropped interceptions.

Once again, the offense didn't run the ball effectively, but that was unsurprising against a good Green Bay defense. Ryan Torain's game won't make anyone forget Portis anytime soon. Anthony Armstrong put in a strong effort, and the TD catch (and his diminutive size) brought back shades of Alvin Garrett and Gary Clark - little guys (Smurfs!) who can catch a football. [Let's name the "big fellas" we've seen over the years: where have you gone Rod Gardner? Michael Westbrook? ]

How about that Brandon Banks? eh? EH? Not too shabby.

Anyway, are you like me? Sure, Clay Matthews, Jr is a fine linebacker, and has a tremendous head of hair....but he's not Mark Gastineau out there. Quit flexing, dumbass...you'll pull a muscle. And we're not impressed with your bicep size or hair length.

Wish he was a Redskin. Oh, wait, Vinny wouldn't draft him.

So, week 5 resulted in a big and unexpected win. Colts are on-deck next Sunday night. This is still not a talented 53-man football team, in terms of talent they're mediocre. But they've got just enough talent coupled with good coaching AND - most importantly - a guy wearing #5 who can overcome his struggles (he wasn't perfect yesterday) and lead a team in need of leading.

Now, watch. Somehow, The Danny will screw it up and not get him signed to an extension. Of course.

John Lennon and Mr. Self-Righteous

First of all, I'm writing this to clarify my previous babble. What I was trying to say - autobiographically speaking - is that I was not ever able to separate or compartmentalize emotions from physical acts. This might really be some failing on my part, or perhaps I'm just and old-soul prude who just wasn't made for these times.

Simply put, for the very very small number of women that this applies to (yes, Carol is well aware, and she's the only person who needs to be - so worry-wart family folks and busybodies can hush) I was totally and completely in love with you. In my mind, that's a compliment.

Historically, however (more autobiography), I spent most of my life working at least on weekends to have cash. This was true all through my high school and college years - so I didn't ever have much time to run wild and enjoy "the college experience." I missed out. Time was not on my side.

The people I've known who gleefully WERE able to make things "only physical" seemed to have had more fun than me. I don't begrudge them their fun.

And now were are all grown ups and raising families, so all of this is moot navel-gazing on my part.

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Today, John Lennon would've been 70, if not for the fat prick named Mark David Chapman. Another act of completely senseless violence in America, with no real point to it. Much will be written about this, of course, because the baby-boomer's working class hero was so important to that Largest Generation. There were, and have been singers and songwriters who have been better --- but most have not.

I read his recently-published biography last year, and to be honest he comes across as having been a jerk for much of his life. Egotistical. Manipulative. Somewhat abusive. Selfish and self-absorbed.

A prick, for lack of a better term. The author lays out many explanations for Lennon's behavior, and if you read it you can make your own judgments. He was far, far from the "working-class hero" he wanted to be, in my humble opinion.

By the end of the book, however, a different man emerges. He becomes a devoted father to his second son (sadly, his first son Julian was not deemed as important - he was older) and writes him the song "Beautiful Boy." His biographer intimates that, by the time Lennon reached 40, he'd learned what it meant to love.

Then, of course, he was murdered.

We'll never know what would've been. A Beatles reunion, of course, would've printed money hand over fist. We were all robbed of that.

Much will be made in the papers of today being his 70th birthday, and "Imagine" will be played over and over on some radio station. "Imagine" is a great song, but at the end of his life the man himself was all about raising and doting on his "beautiful boy." And after spending most of his life acting like a child, I hope he died a man. Safe home, Johnny.