May 28th and memorial day

Hi.

Today's the anniversary of my wedding to Carol White. 16 years ago today was a gorgeous late-May day in Frederick, Md., at the church next to the school I'd attended for a few years as a kid. Lovely day, lovely bride. My best friends and a ton of my relatives made the trip (I guess hers were there too). A tremendous limo ride to the reception that I won't describe here. Best. Ever.

Then a trip to Disney World, in our hearts were are geeky Disney nerds....both of us.

Of course, the long years of marriage followed and there's been many good days and many bad ones. Through it all we've remained friends, which is good.

That's as good as any place to stop. More yapping would only annoy her. Love ya, Carol.

The weekend brings the great Memorial Day onslaught of mixing patriotism with consuming goods and services. Buy a car! Buy a sofa! Salute the troops and buy yourself a Nintendo Wii!

Nah.

All of my grandparents served in the military during WW2, my grandmothers served here at home and my grandfathers both earned purple hearts in European combat. I remember them with pride. My father served in the National Guard and was never called to fight in Vietnam. Up to my generation, we had had veterans in every war fought by this country dating from the Revolutionary War to Vietnam.

My brothers and I have been fortunate, in a sense, not to have to serve. It's opened up many opportunities to live a more settled life. But, there's that silly sense of legacy in my head that tells me that - when duty called - we didn't show up.

As the father of 2 sons and 2 daughters, I worry that some unknown battlefield in some faraway place will claim one of my children. I hope not.

The remembrance that ostensibly is observed on Monday is not for vets, not really. It's for the vets who didn't come home and the families of the fallen. Again, in that respect, I've been lucky enough to have known my father and grandfathers....they came home in one piece. I'd be stupid not to recognize how lucky I am.

But for those who didn't come back, and the families that grieve for them...remember them. If you've never seen the Vietnam War Memorial in DC, it's worth the trip, the sheer numbers of the names are oppressive. Remember, remember...