In some ways, the weekend that was was no different. In other ways, it was a nice departure from the norm.
Thursday evening my mom dropped by with my 2 nieces and nephew in tow, on her way to the movies. Somehow, the 6 of us joined in the fun and dropped the older girls at the movie "Inception" whilst the rest of us (3 boys: 3, 4, and 10...then my wife and I, and my mom) took in supper at Uno's (buttery gooey fatty but good) and strolled the Mall in Columbia. Since the little guys get on so well, it was kinda easy.
I admit, I was irked that teenage girls saw Inception before I could, but that's not much of a thing to be whining about.
I think I got to bed after 11pm.
Friday was Lake Cascade in Hampstead, Maryland. My mom had the idea to have us meet up there and spend the day. Whilst that plan was in motion, another plan for the evening was brewing (taking in the Oriole/Twins game). The lake had waterslides and other fun stuff for the kids. I was mostly relegated to lifeguarding the little guys and clowning for their entertainment. Apparently, it is endlessly funny for the daddy/uncle to be dunked over and over and over and over and over. My youngest brother and my baby niece also made it out. The lake wasn't as clean as I'd have liked it to be, but the older kids ran whereever they wished while the little guys either dunked me or bugged me to escort them to the bathroom. This left my mom free to take a swim or sit on the beach and play with the baby.
Alot of vigilance, yeah, but a nice way to spend a hot-as-hell day in the sun.
So.
After that was the run home to wash everyone and feed them before running to Baltimore for the ballgame. Somehow, this was accomplished with very little fuss. In fact, we were in Baltimore an hour after getting home from the lake (world-record time for this crew). Carol and I were sipping beer across from the Yard waiting for my brother to show up with the club level seats he'd gotten for us (and, thanks to a last-place worst-in-all-baseball team, the crowd was thin- which is SAD). The seats were nice but it was 2,000 degrees up there and we moved lower as the game progressed to an eventual rare win for the home team over the Minnesota visitors.
Well, I glossed over important points (we missed the streaker). My brothers both showed up with their wives and our pal Mike. The gals wanted to leave the game and go to a bar, and Mike escorted them while the 3 of us stayed and watched the sweaty win. We found the gals, and Mike, across the street. Then we split to Little Havana across the water.
And, in all my zealousness to re-tell the "story" of the weekend I'm neglecting to mention other salient points. Between us, my brothers and I have 8 kids. It's rare that we ever get together without kids or our parents. So, as we hung out at the game and the bar together, we morphed from a bunch of parents to simply a bunch of 30-somethings enjoying a night out together. The wives all talked to each other and seemed to get along well, and my brothers and I (and Mike) did what we always do - drink heavily and goof off. Silly pictures were taken. I spilled my beer on my own foot.
Like I said, this never happens.
The natural question is "why?" I don't have an answer. Maybe it's easier not to, or easier to think you know all there is to know about your family that you don't need to bother. I think we all make assumptions about each other based on past behaviors and are mostly comfortable with those.
But, get together like this, and some of those assumptions get challenged. People aren't as dumb or as smart as you'd thought. Or stuck-up. Or whatever.
I think, to a degree- this is what Mr. Obama sought with his "beer summit" awhile back. Break down some barriers. Find commonalities you might not have known existed.
The night didn't end with "kumbaya" but it ended with smiles and hugs. And Carol snoring in the passenger seat on the drive home. Sorry, dear. I think we were in bed by 2am.
Saturday was the co-birthday party for my son Jack and my nephew Tommy. My sister-in-law made gorgeous cakes (and somehow iced them in the sweatshop known as my parents' un-air-conditioned home) and we all pitched in for some fine BBQ food. Sleep-deprived, we didn't get into bed till 11 or so.
Sunday was getaway day for the NC contingent, just as my Aunt and 2 cousins drove in (from St. Louis, by way of Columbia). That was a nice visit. Though we've never really stayed in touch we're still family (my uncle unexpectedly passed 12 years ago - he was my family's rock star when I was a kid), and I salute my Aunt's efforts to keep the roots strong. My cousins (much younger than myself) are growing up smart and strong, I think my Uncle would've been proud of them women they've become.
Of course, I mucked it all up by having a hockey game last night and wasn't in bed till after 11. And up at 6 this morning to split wood with Mike. At least it wasn't as hot.
So, though I am sleep-deprived at this point simply prattling on, all of that was the preamble to the Ultimate Point of this Nonsense.
Someday, in the natural course, our parents won't be here to help us or hinder us. It'll come down to our connections betwixt and between each other that'll keep us a large family. And, realistically, it takes effort to maintain those relationships. It's easy to make the assumption that simply being related by way of blood is a strong enough bond, but that's not really true. You don't have to like your relatives, but it's a bonus if you do. In order to like each other, the petty barriers that can be erected need to be taken down, the scorecards we all keep with the lists of slights or little hurts need to be tossed out. Easier said than done, I know.
If you don't end up fighting...it helps if y'all go out drinking together. I, for one, had fun.
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