Here we go....

I'm grateful for the upcoming weekend's slate of NFL games, as it will disperse the general air of gentle melancholia around here after I booted one of our dogs. Ah, distractions. Don't laugh, it works. It's a lousy (if not awful) analogy, but in '88 after my grandfather died the Redskins' playoff run and ultimate Super Bowl win took my mind away from my loss, if just for a little while.

A lousy analogy, I know. The dog's not going to die anytime soon, he's getting a new home is all.

There's some great hockey this weekend, too, starting tonight with Washington/Vancouver and there's Bruins/Penguins tomorrow.

Crap. If I think about it, that's waaaay to much sittin' round on my ass for a weekend - and I'm already fatter than I wanna be right now. Maybe I'll only eat lettuce all weekend. Right. And maybe a monkey will fly outta my butt, too.

I'm on--record- repeatedly- as having two football teams I pull for. My 2nd wife made it into the playoffs, so I get to be all patriotic and stuff.

If you love the Pats you loathe the Jets. Even in seasons where the Jets have sucked royally it's still joyful to see the Pats trounce 'em 41-0 in the Meadowlands or in old Shea Stadium. Screw 'em. They suck. The Mo Lewis hit on Drew Bledsoe (which launched a certain Mr. Too-Pretty to stardom, thanks Mo), the Parcells thing, Belichick and Spygate, now Rex Ryan's endlessly-gaping maw (have a snack and shut the hell up...oh, by the way, how's your wife's sexy feet??). There is no love. I'd argue that this rivalry is more bitter and angry than others, like the much-ballyhooed 'Skins/Cowboy rivalry, in that the organizations have competed (angrily) on the field, in the front offices, and between the owner's boxes.

So I will of course pick the Patriots to win this game. But it won't be like the drubbing about a month ago. Ryan will have his team prepared and this game will be closer than I'll want it to be.

The other rivalry game is the Ravens/Steelers matchup in Pittsburgh. [What a great weekend, right? 3 of the 4 best-operated NFL teams in contention in the AFC playoffs (I don't count the Jets), and the NFC's Packers and Falcons appear to be close]

I expect hard-hitting, chest-thumping, and trash-talking. [lots of abused hyphens in my blogs, it's demonstrative laziness]. It's everything I love (the hits and the intensity) and hate (the muscle flexing and other bullshit) about NFL football. Seriously, if I wanted to see grown men flex every 25 seconds I'd switch to WWE wrestling [the Redskins are as guilty as any other team of this ...I'm abusing bracket today, too, and commas....apostrophe''''''s.....]

Tough to pick against the Rapist and his merry band at home. But his o-line has been shaky and they're not gonna run on the Ravens. I think Baltimore squeaks this one out, I really do.

Seahawks - Bears: I love to pick the underdogs. This Seattle team went to Soldier Field and whooped the Bears in October. Then they lost 7 straight games. Seattle never wins on the road in the playoffs, look it up, it's a rarity. It'll be cold, though, and that cold will make Matt Hasselbeck feel those old bones creak, unlike last week's gleeful (really, that was awesome) spin of the Wayback Machine. With the cold temps, I'm thinking Bears in a defensive game.

Lastly, the Falcons-Packers matchup. I think this one is- perhaps- the obscured gem of the weekend. Both are up-and-coming organizations that appear to be modeling themselves after New England, Pittsburgh, and Baltimore (smart drafting, value-added free agents) and both have bona-fide NFL QBs. Atlanta's defense pales compared to the Packers' ferocious rush (they pushed Pretty Brady to the edge a few weeks ago) and I'm betting that they're gonna do the same to Atlanta. Not this year, Falcons fans (are there any Falcons fans? If I'm wrong and they go to the NFC Championship game, I bet there's a bunch of new ones). Atlanta has beaten Baltimore at home this season, played Pittsburgh to OT, and will be a tough opponent for anyone. Close game, betting Packers.

Is it gay to eat sushi and watch football? Just askin'.