With all of the charm (and none of the noise) of Billy Big Mouth Bass, I've decided to recap my 8-5 week of NFL picks in verse. All songs that are referenced herein are not mine and all the rights and blah blah blah are reserved for the artists who wrote and recorded them. I like football and I like music, so I'm merging the two. That's 53-50 so far this season. And, so we commence:
Atlanta beats Tampa Bay: Rule 1 here is "avoid the obvious, which means as much as I'd like to jot down a simple "haven't you heard/ about the bird/ well everybody's heard that the bird is the word" ....that's just slacking. How about "that's the night when the lights went out in Georgia"? Oh, the game was in Florida. I don't know, how can anyone get excited about an NFC South game?
Chicago beats Buffalo: got this one wrong. "gone daddy gone, love is gone away"
Cleveland dumps New England: whoops! "When the truth is found/ to beeeeeee lieeeees....and all the joy/ within you dieeeees"
NY Jets squeak past Detroit: Detroit is a better team than their record. This was a cruel result, all things considered. "...and I don't even know why/ the truth seems like a lie/ in my cell there is no sky/ when I was arrested in Shanghai". Or, in the alternative, "sometimes I think it's a sin/ when I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again"
Minnesota beats Arizona: "the old get old and the young get stronger". At least this week.
New Orleans beats Carolina: badly. More NFC South. "Cat Scratch Fever?" Meh.
Baltimore beats Miami: "only want to see you laughing in the purple rain". Looking forward to Thursday football this week, the Atlanta-Baltimore game is a good matchup.
San Diego beats Houston: "someone help me/ Oh please God help me/ They're tryin' to take it all awayyyyyyyyy...". Houston simply does not want to be a good team.
NY Giants beat up Seattle: " because the sky is blue it makes me cry"
Oakland beats KC: "Raider man, got no choice about it/ raider man/ jumpin' up there on it"
Philly beats Indianapolis: It's almost Christmas. woof woof woof/ woof woof woof/ woof woof woof woof wooooof
Green Bay beats Dallas: of course they did. Green Bay gets to crank the fact that they're "back in the saddle again." Doesn't Clay Matthews look like a Teutonic Marc Gastineau? Jerry Jones' crap-ass team? A little different, he croons to Wade Phillips and company, "you can have it all/ my empire of dirt/ I will let you down/ I will make you hurt." Or, allowing my Redskins flag to fly: "I've got something to say-ay/ I killed your baby today and it/ doesn't matter much to me/ as long as it's dead."
Pittsburgh beats Cincy: Sheesh. Sucks that the Rapist wasn't simply suspended all season, because the Steelers as a team are really great, especially on defense. But, he's still there. "I'm not dead/ I'm in Pittsburgh/ where a man can lose his mind/ I'm not dead/ I'm in Pittsburgh/ they got me suited up for crazy times".
The Bengals??? "Soy un perdido, I'm a loser babyy......"
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