Hey, this weekend is all kooky...and stuff

No NFL chatter from me today, I'll save it for tomorrow. Who knew Rex Grossman could complete a pass? Who knew the Packers have actual coaches who can get a team ready for a tough ballgame? We all knew DeSean Jackson was a Grade A co@%sucker, but now he's actually improved upon that title.

Nah. Today I'm writing about my wild and wooly weekend on the ice. I attend an annual ice hockey tournament around the third Saturday of December (well, there have only been 4 of them so far) titled "The Piranhas Winter Classic." It's mostly an excuse to drink beer (it's cold and easy to find) and play hockey in a mildly competitive environment. I think everyone wants to win, but no one takes it all that seriously. There's food, friends (some of my former teammates still come out for this, and even though I'm a Piranha I'm pretty new to that team but they're a good group), family (Carol brought the kids out to an intermission "family skate"), and - did I mention the copious beer? Plus, I'd been on the winning team for the 3 prior Classics - I had a nice streak going with my old teammate Paul McRann. Of course this year they split us up.

Here's how my weekend went: Friday night I coached my son's Squirts team for an hour, plenty of skating there. Saturday morning Carol wants to hit the gym, so we go for about an hour. My team's first game in the Classic started at 1:30. We skate hard and lose respectably, which is to say we weren't blown out. Uh-oh, we were on for the very next game (back-to-back hockey games is a very difficult task. Not impossible, just difficult). We manage to win that one. We're off the ice, finally, about 4pm. By that time my family's shown up for the intermission skate-around, and so I've gotta go and skate more with my wife and kids. This wasn't exactly a torturous affair, as it was fun to play tag with my older son and watch our 4-yr old start to figure out that skating is fun (yes, I'd like all of my kids to play, and I'd like to play just long enough to skate with 'em on a line together - although I know we'd never ever score, to be a Blackford means lots of effort but no ink on the scoresheet).

I got a break till about 5:30 (it all started to blur) then took the ice for a "win or die" game, where we skated tough against a superior opponent.

No regrets, it was all fun.

No form of exercise, with the exception of swimming, has kicked my ass like skating in hockey. I mean, I can skate in lazy circles all day at a public session, but competing in a game is an entirely different ball of wax. I've heard men complain about having to play back-to-back softball games and wondered if they realized how pathetic they sounded. Playing multiple hockey games on one day is brutal.

So, my streak was broken. I sat and watched my former teammate and captain win his 4th consecutive Classic, and he was named Most Valuable Old Guy. For a guy who turns 50 next year, he's still pretty damned good.

I drove my own old bones home, with every passing mile I could feel my muscles pulling ever tighter. By the time I got home I wanted a wheelchair.

Sunday morning was early, running to Squirt hockey to watch my team play a chippy opponent to a tie. My boy almost....ALMOST score his first goal (sorry Bobby, it's in the genes, ask for your uncle's scoresheets). Of course, yelling at children is hardly physically taxing. Neither was Sunday Mass or or children's Sunday School.

Thanks to the ass-hats that run the Gardens Ice House Men's League, the Piranhas had a 2pm game. I'm pretty sure our captain tried talking to the League's commissioner about the fact that most of our team would be exhausted (or hung over, in some cases) what with the Winter Classic and all.... and you'd think the League would be responsive when we all pony up about $500 in ice fees.

You'd be wrong.

8 guys showed up Sunday afternoon while the Ravens and Redskins played, 7 of whom had played hockey all day on Saturday. I think the opposing team was called The Highlanders, and they beat us 3-1, but I don't think any of us really cared. The Highlanders played cheap and goaded our tired team into a few dumb penalties, and the refs did an awful job - some of the worst refereeing I've seen since.....hell if I know.

I was home by 4, finally. There was a fire waiting for me. Life was good. A friend o' mine said that life accelerates (hi Edwin), and I think he's right. All we have to do is keep all of the plates spinning on the poles..........

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "Dummy, all of this crap you've whined about having to do was elective...at any time you could've simply dreamt up an excuse and walked out. People have REAL concerns in this world: jobs, money trouble, illnesses, etc. Shut up and enjoy your petty scheduling troubles."

And, if you thought that, I'd say you're right - I'm lucky that this is all I've got to complain about. As I re-read this, though, I think I'm not complaining as much as I am bragging. Which is unseemly.

My long weekend ended with wins by the Caps and New England Patriots. By midnight, I was ready to skate again.