Picking the pros till they scab and bleed

Hey fans! Here's your "Collinsworth-ism" for the week:

"....it's like he's got his eyes closed and he can feel them coming all around him..."

Thanks and g'night!!

On Friday, last, I filled up half a page with football picks for Sunday's games. I did this armed with nothing more than years of "fandom". I went 8-8 for the week, which is the same as flipping a coin.

Of course, it's only week 2 so it's tough to get a read on how teams are really performing. Last weekend's games showed that the Jets offense did indeed awaken; that Brett Favre needed a few more training camp reps; and that the Chargers are far from dead.

The Review:

Bucs over Panthers: called it. Long season for Carolina

Titans over Steelers: Nope. It was close but I didn't think Vince Young would suck so bad at home. I saw the last moments of that game, and there was a BLATANT pass interference call against the Steelers that was ignored by the stripes....the DB did not even look back to the ball, which -as Madden used to say - is a clear-cut pass interference call.

Packers over Bills: yeah, called it. Went way out on limb and picked the Pack.

Lions over Eagles: damn near called this one. I'm pulling for Detroit, Norman Chad has his Team of Destiny...mine's the Lions. I'll keep picking them, eventually I'll be correct.

Dallas over Chicago: oh, poor Cowboys....I missed on this one. But seriously, who saw this coming? All that talent? All that national exposure? What is the sound of a very large party balloon deflating?

KC over Cleveland: Called it.

Ravens over Cincy: oops. Flacco goes from comparisons to Unitas last year to....Art Schlichter this year? We'll see. That excellent defense in Baltimore should simply elbow that offense out of the way and play two-way football, let Ed Reed play QB. Bengal fans?---you should kiss those refs. And - as mentioned last week - Joe F. and Ray Rice are on my fantasy team...KISS O' DEATH.

Atlanta over Arizona: called it. Falcons will be a good team.

Oakland over St. Louis: poor Jason Campbell, he was benched. Called it.

Seattle over Denver: ooops. Seattle's big win over SF made me do this.

Minnesota over Miami: oops. Believed in Favre. Shouldn't have. Should have remembered that Brett Favre is on my fantasy team, and will suffer the dreaded (and aformentioned) kiss. Dolphins might be pretty good.

Texans over Redskins: called it, but hate myself for doing so. I was correct, in that if the Redskins schemed this game they had a chance against a better Texan team. But they botched the scheme in the 4th quarter. If Andre Johnson played in Dallas, and not Houston, he'd be on TV every night.

Chargers over Bills: called it. Phillip Rivers is a good QB

Patriots over Jets: oops. Jets offense shows up this week. Patriots D is a work in progress.

Giants over Colts: nope. Missed this one. Didn't bother watching it, my wife looked too good to pass up.

Saints over 49ers: called it, but the Saints gave me a scare. 49ers offense woke up and played, unlike last week vs. Seattle.

The theme of the weekend appeared to be twofold: 1) home teams should NEVER be underestimated; and 2) teams sometimes "gel" sluggishly when a season starts, so Week 1 stumbles aren't ipso facto season-long slumps.

______________________________

As for me, I logged a little time with Redskins sports talk and felt better about Sunday's loss. I didn't make my point emphatically enough on Monday. If you love your team, I mean really really really really LOVE your team ...as opposed to "like" or "I'm a fan"...you bleed when they lose. As dumb as it sounds (and admittedly it sounds very dumb and trite and droll and stupid in a world where there are bigger things to be concerned about and better things to be spending one's time on) it affects my mood. At least temporarily. Like I said, my wife looked good Sunday night, and you can't underestimate these things.

But today, 2 days removed, I'm cool with it. This Redskins season is sure to be more fun than the last two, and I'm in the happy place of not having to root for Todd Collins to save them. Buh-bye, Todd, safe home.

Anything else? Nah. There was hockey practice, where I morph from amiable guy to the Drill Instructor in "Full Metal Jacket." Or my reading of the novel "Matterhorn," which I recommend to you candy-assed pukes out there who (like me) never served in the military. Instead, I can report that "The Fred Movie" is well-loved by 15 to 4 yr. old kids, and that it thoroughly, thoroughly sucks.