Hey, wait a minute! It's my first annual best/worst...

As 2009's end draws near, I must confess that my duties as Father of Four permit me much leisure time in which to watch movies and television shows, and read.

I am nothing, if not a good consumer.

(The preceding words should be etched on a national monument somewhere, no?)

I don't see everything. I suspect the two or three folks who might read this don't, either. So, it's just my little list, in no order at all.

The Cream

2666, written by Roberto Bolano. This was an outstanding book. But difficult. By the close of it's 900 + pages, you feel like you've survived 40 days in the desert sun to arrive before a brutal and unforgiving god.

Up Simply a fantastic opening to a movie. I saw this in 3-D, which added nothing. There was more depth in the first 5 minutes or so of Up than in two-and-whatever hours of Transformers 2.

The Wrestler, great performance by Mickey Rourke.

John Lennon: A Life and Shout! The Beatles in Their Generation, by Philip Norman. Yes, this was repetitive on my part. I read the bio of Johnny L. first, and was struck by what a bastard he was to people. Yet, by the end of his life, he seemed to have learned how to love. The book on The Beatles was largely the same story, but with more in-depth info on the other three members of the Fab Four. I recommend the former over the latter.

Food, Inc., informative. If you're afraid of anything in this world, start with what you eat. You don't have to partake in air travel, you don't have to drive. You do have to eat.

Avatar, nothing you haven't seen before. A mash-up of Pocahantas, Star Trek episodes, Tarzan, and perhaps Shakespeare, or Heart of Darkness. Despite its' derivative-ness, a fun movie that's visually and emotionally satisfying.

Crack the Skye, by Mastodon. Best metal album I've heard since....Blood Mountain. A really great band.

The Beatles boxed set (remastered). I only got "into" this band after reading so much about them this summer. And in the process, I was converted. Truly the biggest band since Jesus and his 12.

Black Gives Way to Blue, Alice in Chains. This was one my wife urged me to get. I resisted, but once I heard it I was pleasantly surprised. The title track is a really good song.

Sons of Anarchy, not a GREAT! show, but solidly acted. Reminds me of Miami Vice a bit, in it's vibe. Very cool, kinda dumb.

The Crap

Bruno, I loved Borat and Da Ali G Show, but this sucked. When he channels Peter Sellers, this guy is gold. But when he appears desperate to shock and be outrageous.....eh, not so much.

Paul Blart, Mall Cop, harmless. Silly. My kids loved it. I smirked. It was OK.

Nobody Move, by Denis Johnson. I love Denis Johnson's writing. Not this one. Dull and uneven. Not as fun as it looked from the cover.

The Garden of Last Days, by Andre Dubus, III. Author of House of Sand and Fog. That was a good read. This one was garbage. Predictable and one-dimensional dimwitted characters. Just not all that interesting.

All Hope is Gone, Slipknot. Lousy follow-up to Satanic Verses. Dull.

Glee. Uh....no thanks.

So, that's all I can recall right now. Shoot me a note and argue. Or remind me of something I've forgotten.

Cheers...

Hi, it's Christmas, here's Krampus! The Longest Day....

I'm certainly not the first to mention this; I, myself heard of it on the Mike O'Meara podcast. In Austria, there's a Christmas tradition that St. Nicholas (not a Coca Cola red Santy Claws) has a demonic sidekick known as Krampus. Krampus looks like your garden-variety devil, goat hooves lots of hair and horns. The basic premise is, if you're a naughty child, Krampus will deliver switches and spank you with them. Or worse. You can wikipedia Krampus for the history, or google him for some photographic evidence. The most amusing portion of the story, for me, was the idea that every December 5th is "Krampusnacht", wherein young men (I guess, around 18 years or so) dress up as Krampus and chase young girls around, spanking them when they catch them.

What a great idea! Who wants her ass smacked?

So I tell my 8 year old son this story. And his eyes grow to about the size of your average dinner plate. Is this guilt on his part? He woke up the next two nights banging on my door crying about how he was scared that Krampus was real. Dammit. Joke's on....who?

As I get older, Christmas gets a little less fun in some ways. It's great - I enjoy my kids getting excited for the Big Day - but I spend time remembering who's not here anymore. I was the apple of both of my grandmothers' eyes. They are long passed, but I remember them well. My father's mom was from Italy, and did indeed tell a Christmas tale about Santa having a henchman who would take gifts away from naughty children. I don't recall what name she had for it (I understand there are several iterations of this concept), and my memory of this is very vague. But I think it was there. Like anyone, I've lost relatives who I miss very much and lost touch with friends who will probably never return. Life is like that. Time moves and you must move with it, the kids need diapers and milk and blah blah blah. Sometimes I remember to regret. Then it's back to movin' right along.

Today is Christmas Eve. The Longest Day of the Year. My four children will probably be wound up from the moment they wake until - oh - midnight tomorrow. Somehow, gifts will get wrapped amidst the chaos. Hell, we might bake a thing or two. By day's end - or early Christmas morning - my head will hit the pillow, exhausted. Perhaps someday all six of us living under our little roof will miss this amazingly crazy day. As I write this, it's hard to imagine how.

And- if they're bad - I'm making a deal with St. Nick to borrow Krampus.

Cheers!

The Non-Benevolence of Nostalgia

I have been blessed with a fairly good memory, unfortunately. At times - let's say - those times when I needed to take a test or an exam - it served me well. At others, well - I wish it were less....vivid. Lately, as I trudge toward age 40, I've been thinking about nostalgia.

I suppose it was the Redskins that served as the trigger. Or the time of year. It's late December and my beloved Washington Redskins are yet again forcing me to watch another year go down the crapper. What's that? You don't recall the Redskins being a great team? I can't blame you, it was a long time ago. The Redskins, perhaps sensing this, have girded themselves with nostalgia. A trip to the Pit of Misery known as Fedex Field (the parking lots....oh, the horror), bears this out. The ubiquitous "Ring of Honor" exhibits the names of fallen gladiators now aged or deceased. The legion of fans sporting Riggo or Theismann jerseys (the occasional Dexter K. Manley is thrown in). The "throwback" gear that was made in Taiwan last May. Or, in what seems the ultimate in excess, "This Day in Redskin History," a burgundy and gold tribute to better times.

Enough about the Redskins. I don't want to talk about the game.

This time of year, we are bombarded with nostalgia. Switch on the radio, and you'll hear 10,000 versions of holiday standards touting the simple pleasures of hearth and home. Click on the TV, and you can see holiday programs you watched as a child. Every year, this Christmas is "going to be the best Christmas ever!" Cars have bows on them. Chestnuts are roasted in open fires, just like the ones I used to know, and all I want for Christmas is....yoooooouuuuu.

This isn't to say the songs aren't good, or the season sucks. It's fun, really. And, to be honest, I think I had more fun at Christmas when I was a kid. It's the idea of "the good ole' days" that I quibble with.

I don't think they were better. Or worse. I think that a young GI leaving for Europe in 1942 did not feel too differently from a young GI shipping out to Afghanistan today. I think that the risk of a nuclear Armageddon today is the same as it was 15 years ago. All of us worry about paying our bills and enjoying the time we have to live our lives and love our loves. We are truly blessed and fortunate if we're able to accomplish all three of those things.

I think it's good to honor the past, and to remember the spirits of those who may have touched your life. The re-creation of the past, or the pining over past glories is something very different. Remember the lessons of yesterday, and enjoy today.