Where ya been?

I get this question all the time..."hey, I love your blog it's so great but why don't you write it more often." My reply is always a sheepish, "aw shucks."

Then I wake up.

It's OK, no one really cares. I suppose they would if: a) they were well-written; and b) had focus and a point; and c) I was a celebrity, or close to one.

Insert the song, I promise I'll sing along: "la la la, whatever...la, la la, doesn't matter....."

Life gets in the way. I work part-time, coach two hockey teams, drive a kid to marching band practices and competitions, somehow raise all 4 of them. I see 'em off to school every morning and am usually there waiting when they get home every evening. In the space between I try to work or exercise or clean or run errands. Last week I completed over 10 hours of online hockey coach training. This was as fun as watching paint dry. Come to think of it, I have to put some paint up in my basement. And wash some clothes. Oh, and here come the holidays.

Jeee-zus. I think I sound like I need an apron. Take my word for it, though, I wouldn't look good in one.

Toss in the occassional men's league hockey games at 10:45 pm, for good measure. I might as well complain about everything, yes? Depending upon which relative you're talking to, I either do too much or not enough. Either way, I'm screwing up. Well, some things never change.

Leaves. I've been raking up lots and lots of leaves. My job will be ramping up later this week and I've been racing to get as much yard work done as I can before that happens (how Horatio Alger is that? I'm working hard for the reward of ....working more hard). I'm complaining, I know, but I admit that the work beats sitting around watching game shows.

Come by and chop down your own Xmas tree, I'll be around to take your cash....isn't that what the holiday's about?

NFL Logjams, Liars, and Hell to Pay

My segues will suck today, per usual. But hell, I watched Antonio Pierce on Sportscenter this morning attempting to segue out of the Penn State story and into the week's NFL action and he looked very uncomfortable doing it.

At least you can't see me squirm.

Now's about the time that an NFL season gets really interesting. The season's half-way over and you can see the playoff seedings begin to gel while also knowing that there is still a lot of football left for those current frontrunners to fall off. There could be a Dark Horse that bursts into the playoff party and ruins your team's fun.....it's the possibilities that make things fun.

Any question about Green Bay? At 8-0 they're sitting pretty atop the NFC North with the 6-2 Lions nipping (somewhat) at their heels. Who's gonna beat them? Probably not Detroit. Other than Detroit, the NY Giants are the only other team on the schedule that could give the Packers trouble.

Those Giants are sitting atop the NFC East at 6-2, two games up on the Cowboys and (most likely) the Eagles. Yesterday's win against my Pats was pretty big, but I'm thinking that Philly will continue to rise out of their early season malaise and take the division. Forget about Dallas, too self-destructive. The Redskins? Grossman is no soothsayer or Oracle, G'night guys.

They keep telling us that the NFC South is a good division, and maybe the Saints and Falcons are good teams - we have the remaining season to discern that. Tampa's 2010 season was a surprise and this 2011 season has got to be a disappointment, they aren't making the playoffs this year. Carolina's QB is the goods, but forget this year. Go with New Orleans to take the division.

The NFC West is a joke, at 7-1 the easy money's on San Francisco. No other team comes close, at 2-6 Seattle and Arizona aren't picking up 5 games on the 49ers.

Alternatively, the AFC has some real logjams, and obviously all of the teams involved aren't making it to January.

In the AFC East there's the Jets, Patriots, and Bills are knotted at 5-3 with the Pats-Jets game next weekend looming large. The Patriots cannot defend against a high-school squad. The Jets? They're pretty good on D and have the talent to field a good offensive team yet somehow don't. I think Buffalo's a bit of a fluke, their early season success won't continue into January. I'm afraid that the Jets are gonna take this division.

Similarly, the AFC North is the home of badass football, with Baltimore, Pittsburgh, and Cincy all sitting at 6-2. The upcoming schedule will sort things out, and no one knows if Cincy's for real. I hear that their defense is good, and see on highlight shows that Andy Dalton is the kids the Redskins should've drafted this year, but ya gotta be skeptical about those Bengals. I'd love to pick the Ravens but they've laid a few eggs (pun intended) the past few weeks. The Steelers are the best choice out of the 3 teams knotted up, but Baltimore's fully capable of de-throning the reigning AFC champs.

There's some division called the AFC South that used to include the Colts. Apparently the Houston Texans are sitting at 6-3 and most likely to win this division unless 4-4 Tennessee goes on a tear.

Nah. Texans.

What is it about the West? The NFC West is awful save for the 49ers and the AFC West is wildly inconsistent. KC, San Diego, and Oakland are 4-4 and Denver is 3-5 and maybe heating up. KC got clobbered by Miami yesterday - nope. San Diego seems to sleep through half of every game (too much beach time?). Oakland might be the best choice here, especially if Palmer gets comfy in the Bay Area.

It's one of those seasons where I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see a re-match of the Packers-Steelers Super Bowl. I can't imagine any other NFC team pushing the Pack out of the picture, unless it's Philadelphia. The AFC is the more interesting conference, it's not a stretch to see Pittsburgh, Baltimore, or the Jets making it to the Big Game.

We'll see.

_________________________

I was about 10 or 11 when I fell in love with football, all thanks to the Redskins being a good team and my grandfather's ardent support of them. I had it planned out. I was gonna play ball locally and in high school then play for Penn State and get drafted by the Skins. It was all figured out.

Well, except that I wasn't good at football.

The Penn State thing? I guess that came from them being pretty good at the time, I can't recall. The luster wore off and that was that.

This weekend, the luster wore off in Happy Valley and their sainted Coach Joe. Mike Wise at the Washington Post wrote a decent opinion piece about this story in today's paper. More interesting, and sad, was the actual Grand Jury indictment of Paterno, Penn State's AD, and pretty much everyone involved in the cover-up of the alleged child sexual abuse of D-coordinator Jerry Sandusky.

In law school, they teach you that "you can indict a ham sandwich." It means that a grand jury hears testimony that is not obstructed by the rules of evidence. There's no defense counsel present to object to anything. So, the allegations are just that....allegations.

Of course, common sense thinking will make the average person say "where there's smoke, there's fire." Usually, I can put on my lawyer hat and intellectualize a case.

......but when there's kids involved, I really can't.

The word is evil. That's the one that comes to mind when you read the Indictment of Mr. Sandusky. You give a person a little bit of power and some of those empowered people will abuse it. He was a respected part of the Happy Valley institution. I'm willing to be that there are encomiums that have been heaped upon his name during some of his teams stirring victories. And, oh by the way, he was so great with the kids.

No, perhaps, we know why.

Paterno and the AD are going to deny direct knowledge even though the indictment indicates that they had knowledge of.....something. I'll never understand how a man in Paterno's position could pass the information he'd been given "up the chain" of command and then believe in his heart that he'd done all he could.

This is so much worse than Ohio State or Miami - that was about money, greed. Whatever crimes were committed weren't anything like the alleged abuse of the young boys at Penn State. If any of this - if even a part- is true......the storied Penn State football program may (perhaps should) become a distant memory.

'cause there'd be hell to pay

Brrraaaaaaaiiiiinnnnns

"I feel so alo-one/

gonna end up a big ole pile of them bones"

Alice in Chains

As you can probably guess I had intended to write this closer to Halloween, but I was reading Colson Whitehead's pretty good Zone One, and because its subject matter was on point with this entry I wanted to finish it.

As I write this, cannibalistic zombie hordes are the metaphor du jour. AMC's excellent show based on the excellent comic-book The Walking Dead. The aforementioned literary effort titled Zone One. Cormac Macarthy's The Road (well, sort-of). Countless bad horror movies that imitate the really good ones (more on this in a moment). Videogames titled Left for Dead or Dead Rising. Zombie hordes are in cartoons from Spongebob to Calvin and Hobbes (ok, that was a long time ago). They're part of our spooky, fear-inducing zeitgeist, like Dracula and Frankenstein's monster - now engrained in our scary repertoire of silly costumes.

Let me back up. They scared the absolute sh*t out of me when I was a kid.

Did you ever read TV Guide? I've always read voraciously (if not finicky), and my parents used to buy it at the store every week. I'd grab it and look for late-night monster movies or cartoons (and little had changed since, I'm sorry to report). One day I blundered across an "article" by Stephen King about his choices for the scariest movies and he mentioned George Romero's "Night of the Living Dead." Better yet, he described the plot and what spooked him - the unending horde of zombies seeking out human victims on which to feed.

Zing! It hooked me. From, "ewwww that's gross" came the inevitable "wonder what it looks like?"

I found it on a late-night show sometime in the '80's and it was a spooky as advertised. I could be a light sleeper before but I spent several nights anxiously planning my escape from the zombies (I knew where my dad's gun was) and trying to be vigilant for the signs of cannibalistic doom (save the last bullet for yourself -I didn't wanna know what it felt like to be ripped apart or munched on while still alive.

The plan was, if I was awakened by the sounds of shambling death, to try and wake up my dad and mom - then get the guns. My dad was in the Guard, I was pretty sure he'd have no problem killing zombies. Of course I'd have to save my baby brother.

My middle brother? Well, if there was time.

Then the neighbors. My friends down the street. Maybe Father Bozell at the church (can't hurt to have God with you, or the closest-best thing). I was a good shot, and I already knew you had to hit 'em in the head from the movie.

Oh, and for good measure maybe I'd try and save one of the girls I liked in class. Then she'd like me instead of ignoring my existence - when I saved her from the zombie doom. Everyone would be impressed with my forethought and how good I was with a rifle and I'd be King of Whatever the Zombies Left Behind ......someday.

What the hell? It wasn't a terrible plan.

Wherever I'd stay overnight I'd check out my plan. When we stayed at my grandmother's place at the beach I was particularly concerned because we stayed on the second floor and there were too many avenues of access for hungry undead. But, on the other hand, we had boats close by and everyone knows zombies can't swim. Alas, however, there were no guns there that I knew of.

[OK, so my plan sucked]

What did I find so scary? I guess the Fall of Everything and the End of all Hope. Something like that. Or the gross idea of being someone's meal. Or, in my twisted 10 or 11 year old mind, maybe I wanted to show humanity how great my Apocalyptic survival skills would be. "Look coach, all you need to do is shoot 'em in the head!" I can be an idiot sometimes. An imaginative idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. [I'm only mentioning in passing my daydream to invent a time machine that would allow me to save Jesus from crucifixion by going back intime with a gun....Freud would've had a field day with that dream I'm sure]

But apparently (deities aside) I wasn't alone, given all of the mass-media that pertains to zombies - it must have captivated other minds than just mine. Back in the early '80's I only knew of George Romero's zombie flicks, Night and Dawn of the Dead (the shopping mall movie). His zombies were slow but relentless and his movies were tense but still had some humor to them. The knockoff movies weren't scary at all, like Return of the Living Dead and some similar-plotted movie where an Egyptian tomb is disturbed and zombie mummies run amok.

Poor Mr. Romero. He invented all this in 1968 with his low-budget flick in Pittsburgh. He lost the rights, somehow (lazy reporting on my part - go look it up yourself) and the movie ended up in the public domain - which is how I ended up seeing it on "Creature Feature" some late evening in 1981 or 1982. I think he's seen some cash since then, and most of the guys and gals who are cashing in on the zombie stuff tip their collective caps to the man - his movies started the whole thing.

The "conventional wisdom" passed down in these mediums suggest that humanity would be wiped off the planet's dry-erase board. When you think about it, though, the center cannot hold and things fall apart (begging your indulgence, Mr. Achebe - your book was tremendous). I nitpicked the zombie hordes, and thus return them to death from their un-death and removed the scare.

It's a completely implausible premise, here's why it's all bullsh%t:

Bugs, birds, dogs, and fungus: In almost all of the movies and books I've seen I never see bugs. Hold up, if there's a dead chipmunk in my front yard one morning it's teeming with scavengers by noon and in a few days mostly chewed up and removed. Crows and vultures are always swarming around the bodies of roadkill. As society breaks down packs of wild dogs would run feral - wouldn't they feast on zombie flesh? But wait, the afficianado says, perhaps the zombie's necrotic flesh is poisonous to animals and insect? I see no evidence of such in anything I've read or watched. The zombie is dead, scavengers would decimate the hordes. If not, then why not fungus? Fungus lives on all detritus - why not necrotic flesh?

Go where it's hotter : in the unlikely event that zombie flesh repelled all other living things on Planet Earth that currently eat dead tissues, the warmer the weather the faster the decay. This is inarguable, flesh decays faster in warmer climates. OK, perhaps the two zombies roaming in the Arctic wastelands would "live" a very long time....anything South of the Mason-Dixon is probably going to decay itself to bones within a year....two years max. And those folks in the tropics? The plague's over by tourist season.

We aren't that stupid: every movie I've seen or book I've read maintains that Man is inhuman towards his fellow Man -that we can't solve something like the fictional zombie plague because we can't come together and work as a united front. It's a cynic's weltanschuung, that I completely reject as a matter of practical application of logic. It's not hard to imagine that some people would be awful to each other, but I think it's more likely that- when faced with a common enemy - people would come together to collectively attempt to fend off the fictional extinction event. And, I'm betting on the human race in any stupid zombie apocalypse. We survived the Black Death. We survived the Spanish flu. Hell, we have government entities using zombies as some kind of disaster-preparedness plan (really? taxpayer funded?).

We'll be fine. Just remember my plan, a gun and a pretty girl. After that, it's clear sailing.

I'd be dead in a day, I know.

Things I don't "get"

Ah, the perils of false advertising. No, this isn't gonna be a blog entry about the lovely ladies I've never had the chance to "get" (a long list) as compared to the list of lovely ladies I've "gotten" (a very, very short list).

Nope, just the musings of a newly-minted old fart. Think of it being read to you in the curmudgeony voice of TV's Andy Rooney.

Metallica's collaboration with Lou Reed, Lulu: I don't get it. Why bands do this is beyond me. I'm no expert on the creative process but when a band's been around as long as Metallica has it's obviously released some gold and some poop. Metallica caught lightning in the proverbial bottle with two fantastic records, Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets....then Cliff Burton died and they've been uneven since then - going so far as to try and "reclaim" their former sound on 2008's not-so-bad Death Magnetic. Some of their post-Justice stuff has been great and some, not so much. I've only previewed the songs on Lulu and am figuring on saving my cash, it's Metallica playing with a spoken-word artist. Lou Reed's done some great stuff with Velvet Underground and as a solo artist, Heroin is still on my playlist as is the less-great Dirty Boulevard, but from what I hear on Lulu he sounds old and angry. Maybe I'm wrong, and the entirety of the album is better than the 30-second clips I'm hearing.....decide for yourself, but I don't understand the "point" of the recording.

Collaborations are nothing new, Jagger worked with the Beatles, etc. At some point in their career some members of Metallica weren't satisfied with just being Metallica (as Keith Richards writes in his book Life, "what's so wrong with just being Mick F-ing Jagger?") and have tried to wear many different hats. Maybe it's part of the aging process, or they were bored with crunching out The Almighty Riffs that they were so good at.

Or maybe they just lost their mojo......

There's no shortage of alternatives if you like metal, though, and the best of the current lot is Mastodon's The Hunter. I'm an avowed Mastodon fan and have been to see a few of their shows (they're playing the 9:30 club in DC in November.....) and they've taken Metallica's baton and run with it. I won't bother naming every song in a pedantic track-by-track review but I will say that the album (with one glaring exception that's weird and sounds completely out of place) will not disappoint. If you like metal, that is. Even if you don't, it's a good example of what's out there in rock music that's worth listening to.

I don't get my neighborhood's high-schoolers. Time was, you got to be 15 or 16 and trick-or-treating wasn't an option. We had a legion of driving-age kids schlumping around our neighborhood begging for candy (well, maybe not a legion). Sure, I understand that there's free candy to be obtained but at some point don't we want these doofuses to get jobs?

Maybe this is old-guy bitterness but when I was 16 I'd had a job for a couple years. My wife did, too, and so did most (if not all) of my friends. I don't recall teenagers being so opposed to the idea of earning money. Kids today seem to only want to sit in front of their computers and consume. Where are my Geritol pills? I seem to have misplaced them. Those kids probably took them....stupid dummies.

I don't get NFL football right now (though I am forced to get the lackluster Redskins, who need several more years of building....not re-re-re-re-rebuilding). Why is passing the football so all-fired great as opposed to a balance between run and pass? Why does "scoring" have to be up? Why can't Theismann and Riggo just come back and bring with them the good old days?

Hmmm....this blog is taking a turn towards Nitwitville.......

Ok, what makes the spectacle of a team passing for 400 yards every game so great? It wasn't that long ago that running backs were as important to a team's fortunes as the quarterback. And the O-lines can't be that different....those guys still must prefer the easier practice of run-blocking than the far more difficult art of pass-blocking. The "new" rules that Indianapolis argued for in 2005 or 2006 (the 5-yard no-contact zone) have made old-fashioned bump and run coverages illegal. I'm no sports blogger, and Sports Illustrated broke this down far more eloquently and in-depth in their annual NFL Preview last August, but I think it kinda sucks. today's game would have no place for names like Walter Payton, Emmitt Smith, and Terrell Davis much less defensive players like Jack Tatum and Mike Haynes. You Redskin fans might recall the awful experience of Super Bowl 18 in 1984, where the LA Raiders played bump and run coverage that removed the Redskins short-yardage passing game....then they stuffed Riggo as well and Game Over. Nowadays with these rules the 1984 Redskins probably win that game, as would the 2001 Rams in their game against Tom Brady's Patriots.

Defense used to win championships, not it's almost a liability. Somehow, Baltimore and Pittsburgh have maintained excellent units in spite of the rules changes. Hey Shanahan....you watch tape on them?!

Speaking of Baltimore, I don't get purple. Ok, the Vikings are purple. So are the Lakers and the LA Kings. Why would Ravens be purple? And those stupid-looking numbers.....I don't get that either. Why does Joe Flacco look a little vacant to me? He's got this open-eyed stare that, when couple with his obvious mouth-breathing says...."duuuhhhh."

Of course, so does Eli Manning but Eli's got an excuse because he's Eli.

How about that snow over the weekend here in DC? Wild and wacky, huh? All of you climate-change apologists and "skeptics" (who must work for oil interests ,or are dangerously retarded) take note. Oh, hold up, it snowed on October 29, 1971 in DC (I have it on the word of my parents whom I met for the first time in a hospital that day). I don't"get" snow in October.

And I was out driving in it all day and I can tell you that DC-area drivers are the worst. There was a doofus hauling a boat over the 14th street bridge and he was driving too fast - thus his boat ended up blocking two of the three lanes. His doofus-ness made me late for my daughter's hockey game, ass. Of course, if you live here you know that some drive too fast in bad weather conditions and others drive like they're racing a terrestrial mollusk home......soooooooooooooooooooo slllllloooooowwwwwwlllllllyyy.

I "get" all of that, but I hate it.

Hey, why is it "cool" to decorate your house with dismembered limbs and gore on Halloween? I don't get that. Is it supposed to be scary or edgy? Or are you guys trying to slowly indoctrinate us to the idea of cannabalism being ok? Sorry, guys, I can't support the cannibal agenda.

Been watching "American Horror Story" and am starting to love it and its attendant weirdness. But I don't get why "Sons of Anarchy" is so universally loved. I watch the show but can readily admit that it's stupid as all hell. It's essentially a male-oriented soap opera. Every episode has these bikers simply wandering into the local hospital for a scene or two. Or there's the "home-based" scenes at their hangout clubhouse or in an actual home. And the dialogue's always something riveting like "we've got to deal with this shit." Whoah! How badass. The show really amounts to a bunch of grown men avoiding growing up by riding motorcycles and subverting law-enforcement at every turn. It's like an updated and slightly edgier "Dukes of Hazzard." Storylines are clearly being dragged out to keep the fish-like viewer hooked. You just know that someday, some friggin' day, Jax is gonna read those letters and make Clay pay for his sins.

It's stupid but it's a guilty pleasure, so I guess I get it.

I don't get lots of other things too, but I think I'll stop now. Excelsior!

just a tic on the odometer

Just hit 40 on the odometer over the weekend. It's one of those forced-march kind of things if you're lucky enough to survive on this piece of dirt - we age, therefore, we accumulate. I look in the mirror and see wrinkles and subcutaneous fat that I don't recall accumulating; it's hard to miss the lack of hair on my head, too, or the white hairs that are starting to creep over the beard I've grown.

Idunno, these things don't stare back at me and scream "Methusaleh," they simply just exist. Like the phantom pains in my back some mornings or the tightness I'll feel in my fingers when it's cold. I keep thinking that 40 does not feel that much different than 35, or 30, or 21, or 16. The same lame thoughts rattle around in my mind in very much the same addled manner that they did before. I possess no wisdom on account of the miles I've travelled (excepting that I will advise anyone listening not to get a degree in creative writing, embrace technology - it's embracing the world, duh).

I can look back and tick off the vast number of mistakes that I've made, and if you were interested in listening I'd tell you all of them. But we both know that's boring stuff, another guy musing on his failings. I've had some successes, too; but - again - that's another blunt object with which to bludgeon your conscious mind to sleep.

They tell us that reaching 40 is a milestone and that it's important, somehow. But in reality it's simply a number on the way, just like your car hitting 100,000 on its' odometer. Sh*t, the car doesn't mind, the number only has meaning for the driver. Much is made of the "mid-life crisis" that supposedly hits men around my age - but if I can be frank I think it only applies to men much more wealthy than I. There's no convertible Corvette in my future, no plastic surgery or trips to those skanky tanning salons, and the idea of a trophy wife is only something I say in irony. No, thanks.

A few weeks ago I was huffing and puffing away at the gym and Pat Robertson was on his "700 Club" explaining that he wanted to live to be 100 years old and giving viewers his diet plan, at least for breakfast. It was a surprisingly amusing piece, he advocates eating whole grains with nuts and berries and a touch of maple syrup "so it tastes good." I don't know how long I've got, and don't care if I see 100 or not, but I know I'm not ready to go yet. I've got too much left to do.

Ah, but that raises the specter of "the bucket list," does it not? Life is the best page-turner ever written, and it gets written by the minute. I've got words to try and weave together - maybe they'll be good enough to publish and maybe not. I've got kids to raise - maybe they'll all be scions of industry and maybe not. I still haven't surfed well. I haven't travelled nearly enough. I haven't kept up with friends as much as I'd like to. "So much to do, and so little time."

What have I accumulated on the road so far? People will disappoint the hell out of you and you'll disappoint the hell out of them. Money won't solve any of your existential problems. The best laid plans are often riddled with holes you never thought were there. These things are on 1,000 different bumper stickers and "inspirational" office pictures. Bullsh*t, really.

Boil it down to this: show as much love as you can, in whatever way you're comfortable showing it. Explain yourself. Apologize sincerely and often. Forgive liberally, and forget.

Make time for others, we ain't here forever y'know.

Valar Morghulis

I've been alive nearly 40 years and I can count on one hand - one finger, really- the number of people I've met who was truly committed to becoming a Roman Catholic priest.

The Catholic priesthood has taken a public-relations beating for centuries, and they've become an attractive target in part thanks to the sins and excesses of the men who served before them. The child abuse scandal is unavoidable, obviously. Some of my friends of other faiths have declared their unmarried status as "weird" or simply, "not right." Again, it's easy to understand, they're an easy target. I could bore everyone reading this with my simpleton's understanding of the whys and wherefores of the Catholic priesthood (excepting the abuse of children and power....I cannot understand the inexplicable crimes committed in any sensible way).

I can say this: all of the priests I've known were good men committed to serving their parishes and communities with everything they had. They are required to go to those places that most of us tend to eschew in favor of nice, safe shopping malls and spacious parks. To name a few: prisons, death rows, homeless shelters, missions, filthy tenements. Wherever you find the least among us is where you'll find priests and nuns, ministering and tending to the needs of those who have nothing but needs.

I'll be honest, I've only ever thought about a life of service in that "morning after" guilt complex. As in "Oh, Jesus am I hung over. Dear Lord if I get over this I swear I'll never have another drop if you'l just take this god@#Ned headache away.......I'll go to Uganda and pass out water and rice for a year and be a good boy, oh and by the way if it's no trouble could you make the Redskins play better?"

When I worked for the Public Defender I saw the religious who made the prison visits, the inmates lining up for communion and confession. To make those trips, week in and week out, requires a special type of patience.

And so it was that last week a seminarian named Mike Fallon suddenly passed away at age 40. I'd known him as an acquaintance, our families were in the same parish as we grew up. We were in the same Cub scout den for a while. We attended different DC area prep schools. I can't say we were close, but he was always nice to me and hopefully I was nice to him. Several years ago he employed my firm to represent him in a worker's compensation case for an on-the-job injury he'd suffered. He was in the Catholic University seminary at that time but they'd started getting nervous about his injury, and he was concerned they'd ask him to leave.

At that time it was clear that he was committed to his calling. I don't know if it came easily to him or not, his father was a Deacon at our church (and a good preacher, as I recall...I can still remember some of the points he discussed during his homilies). In my very brief time with him I can recall his patient demeanor with my dad (you have to be a saint to be one of my dad's clients, because my dad has no patience whatsoever). He was also deeply concerned about his ability to return to the seminary and resume his studies.

I never spoke with him again. I left the practice to do what I'm doing right now. I found out about his death last week but was glad to hear that he'd passed away at a seminary, wherein he was preparing to begin a life that was exactly the one he wanted, one of personal sacrifice and service to others. He was a good man, gone from this plane far before his time. Our church needs more men like him. It is rare, these days - perhaps more rare than at any time since Emperor Constantine "legitimized" the faith - to find people with large enough hearts and brave enough souls to commit themselves to a life of service. Walk on, Mike. Nil igitur est mors ad nos.

Heading to the dump with LaRon

A little touch o' the skank for your day, you're welcome fellas.

So it's Monday night and I have magnanimously decided to ignore the snoozefest that is gonna be the Colts-Buccaneers game. Yawn. I know! I'll write something on my blog instead, it's brilliant!

I've been a little under the weather and had to run to see my doctor today and that afforded me about an hour of driving which meant sports talk. Apparently, even when they win, the Shanahans are ridiculed and second-guessed. Also, Messr. Romo is yet again a pariah instead of hero...and the Eagles o-line sucks. I didn't know this, but I did after listening to el radio.

I watched the Redskin victory over the Rams with feigned interest. At 17-0 I was falling asleep, and feeling sorry for those St. Louis (to me, they're still LA) fans they kept showing on TV. "awww, poor folks, their team sucks." This makes me a weak-ass Redskin fan, I may have a good heart but it's dumb. And then the Rams crept back into the game and I'm tearing 2 of my last three hairs outta my scalp (it's ok, I've got plenty to spare on my back). Rex sucked. His pass protection sucked. Ryan Torain didn't. The difference was a pretty competent-looking defense...thanks to whoever had the idea to sign Barry Cofield, Stephen Bowen, and Ryan Kerrigan. Whew!

Oh, and if you watched the game you heard that Laron Landry was out at the start of the 3rd quarter. The crack reporting team at 980 AM (sports talk) hears that Landry had to take a dump. Hard-hitting journalism....it was a moving account. Moving.....get it? Ah, shut up.

After the win I was off to look for some curtain-related stuff I cared very little about. Thanks to the inventor of the iphone I was watching the Dallas Cowboys give away a big lead to Detroit. I only found out later that the giveaway was literal - boy did Romo suck in the second half of that game. Someone wrote in the Washington Post today that the Lions look pretty good and that he'd have to re-schedule his Thanksgiving afternoon nap....I'm with him, those Lions might be worth a look. I also noticed that the Eagles melted down against an inferior San Francisco team.....heh. So, I inhaled deeply the scents of schadenfreude. Delicious.

Now, a reasonable person will read this and think "Jesus, that's all this guy does....watch football and talk about watching football...what a waste of flesh and bone." And that person would be right, except not. My weekend started with Friday evening hockey practice that ended after 8pm, then a 6am wakeup on Saturday and Sunday for hockey PLUS the added requirement of waiting for my eldest to get home from her marching band competition at...oh....about 1:30 am Sunday morning. When I got up Sunday morning to take my son to his hockey game I was running on 3 cups of coffee and about 4 hours of sleep. And I made marinara sauce while watching the games.

The point, ergo, is that I may indeed be useless but I serve a purpose. Whatever that means.

Hey! Didya hear? Hank Jr. called our President and Vice President "the enemy." And compared him to a certain Mr. Hitler. Nice job......"are you ready? I said, get ready.......are you ready for a jackass?" There's a guy who should stick to his day job. I'm convinced Fox Propaganda put him on hoping he'd say something exactly that crazy. Mission accomplished.

Here's a random thought: has anyone ever heard Mr. Obama take direct credit for the killing of Usama Bin-Laden or any of the other terrorists our military has erased over his term? I have not, and yet there's this weird "cottage industry" of people proclaiming that he deserves exactly ZERO credit for "making the world and the U.S. safer." Well, I doubt that killing these guys makes any of us safer - first of all. But I find it odd that these "advocates of the armed forces" are setting up this straw man only to knock it down. It's a heaping pile of bullshit baloney, I guess no one's forced to eat it though.

Remember folks, always practice your defensive driving.....

Rats

The Monday night game ended at......what? 11:30? I think it was around there. A disappointment for Redskins fans like myself who dared to believe. Hell, I still believe. They're playing far better than I think they were ever expected to. If Messr. Romo was 100% healthy last night I think the Redskins would've lost the game easily, last night it appeared that he was in no hurry to try and throw long or scramble around the pocket at all - I imagine a broken rib does that to you.

Of course the game's final play will be pointed out as typical Rex Grossman, and his career thus far demands that type of judgment. I will point out in his defense that his right tackle, center, and left guard completely did an "ole!" on the Cowboy d-line and Rex is slower of foot than, say, John Beck......

Yes, he could've thrown it away. Or not held it where he did. But he's Rex. To do otherwise would be to expect him to sprout wings and fly or leap like a gazelle. Ain't gonna happen, y'all.

Hours earlier I saw my Red Sox lose to a junior high team again. I think there were 10 fans in the stands despite the warm weather, and 9 of them were Red Sox fans.

Have I mentioned I hate this weather we're having in central Maryland? It's like living in a swamp. I believe that I should never have to perspire in late September when it's only 75 degrees outside. I refuse to turn on my air-conditioner because that's how the aliens will find you. There must be a mother-ship hovering over the East Coast that is forcing all of this humidity here, they want me to give in but I won't.

Today I must wait around while my van's tires are replaced. This is depressing. Sitting around your local Wal-Mart waiting for the Tire and Auto folks to be done with your car is awful. Blah.

There's a crick in my neck, and a bunion on my toe. My digestion isn't quite right and I don't like prunes. It looks like it might rain. I have a headache in my eye, my dog smells funny, and someone is stealing my money. And the Redskins lost.

Turning on the Randomizer

No focus today, it's rainy and warm and muggy.

I think I like cold rain better than warm and sticky rain. At least when it's cold you can toss a log on the fire and pull up a good book. This humid crap? Just makes me feel like I need a shower every 35 minutes.

I think I like the fact that the Lions and Bills are 2-0 and the Colts are 0-2. A little diversity is the spice of life. If the Redskins and/or Patriots can't get to the Super Bowl this year I'm pulling for a Detroit-Cleveland(or Buffalo). Call it "The Exorcist's Bowl."

I think the Washington Capitals are going to have a good playoff run and that this time next year their Stanley Cup Championship gear will be going on sale. And you'll be sick of seeing all the red around here. The DC area loves a winner (unless the team wears burgundy and gold...)

I think the Redskins "rabid" fan base is dwindling for several reasons: 1) the team has not been very good for a long time; 2) the owner always seems to make himself as loathsome as possible; 3) the DC area has always been transient, people move here from elsewhere; 4) with the advent of Sunday Ticket, people who move here can continue to follow their home teams for $300-400 a year, in the old days the Redskins were the only game in town; 5) the Baltimore Ravens are a much better team that plays about 40 miles from the Redskins; 6) the rather racist logo and name....imagine a team being called "The Hanoi Gooks" or "The Verona Wops" or many other names that basically single a race out for the mere color of its skin.

Maybe on point six (6) above I'm off. But there's a group of people who happen to have red skin who take offense to it. Not a large group, but...haven't we evolved past this? Danny, you can make more money with a new name and logo. "Warriors" or something like that.

Michaela Selahi? No thanks. Tareq? Why are you on the "Today" show wearing horns? And crying?

Watched the opening episodes of "Community" and "Modern Family" last night. One was mildly entertaining, the other was not -I'll leave it to you to guess which.

I absolutely dug the new Washington Wizards uniforms. A shame there's no NBA this year.

My Boston Red Sox are doing their best impression of the Red Sox this September. It's OK because throughout my lifetime they've usually done the SWAN DIVE in June, and as of this writing they're actually still in the wild card. Dream team, indeed.

Speaking of baseball, does anyone agree with me that they should add a round to the playoffs and dump 3 weeks of regular season games? Start the season in mid-April. Or shave off some of the September games. Can you imagine trotting out onto the field as a Houston Astro today? What're you playing for?

On second thought, I can imagine trotting out for a hopeless cause when they're paying me millions, or even half-millions. Doesn't seem so bad, really, to just play out the string.

Reading "Dance with Dragons" right now, Book 5 in Martin's "Song of Ice and Fire." I swore to myself that I was gonna take a break between books 4 and 5 but I cracked it open and .....away I went!

I think the breathlessness over next November's election can wait 6 months or so.

A few weeks back, after the Hurricane blew through here, I cut up some broken limbs for my neighbor. I was running my own yard trash to the dump and it was no trouble. A few days later she dropped by with a restaurant voucher. I felt a little lousy because I didn't do the work seeking repayment, but it also seemed less-than-gracious to refuse it. Quite the problem, huh?

The entire time I've been typing this I've been peppered with questions and requests ("can I change the channel, dad?" "Dad, I want eggs for breakfast", "dad, you're making them wrong!" etc etc etc arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggg). This is why my mind is so bloody fragmented.

Same old story, same old song and dance

I haven't written about it much on this blog, but I possess a J.D. and practiced law. Prior to passing the Maryland Bar I was a clerk for the Office of the Public Defender and served one year as a judge's clerk. I saw a lot of cases tried in those years (1997 to 2000), some were amusing (a retired Air Force officer decided to be his own divorce lawyer and the mixture of arrogance and incompetence was comedy gold) or horrifying (the baby boiler, still makes me shudder).

You see enough cases tried, big or small, and you realize quickly how imperfect the human memory is. Cops lie. Doctors and lawyers lie. People who should recall important details don't. Confessions are coerced through beatings or promises. That's the nature of a system still owned and operated by human beings.

Prosecuting attorneys are political creatures, and not likely to step forward and admit publicly that they've railroaded an innocent person. They're trained to think themselves infallible by way of "following the evidence." When there's no direct evidence, they will pin their hopes to witness statements or circumstantial evidence - a weaker form of evidence but something that can work in pinch. It's common knowledge in your local courthouse that witness statements are the least reliable of the lot.

By contrast, defense lawyers ratchet up the paranoia. Everyone's a liar: the prosecutor, the cops, the lab techs, the opposing witnesses. The defense lawyer is ethically bound (as is the prosecutor) from lying personally - but in truth both sides get as close as they can to the ethical line. Evidence is withheld. Witnesses are discouraged from testifying. The lawyers play games with court filings.....in doing so most cases take a long time to wind their way through the system.

It's a good system, when compared to forcing defendants to overcome a presumption of guilt. "Innocent until proven guilty" is the maxim, but the State tends to operate with the presumption that "we've got the right guy." Their certainty can often-times be well placed, in cases where there is DNA evidence and confessions and direct evidence (like fingerprints and clothing). The defendant enjoys well-known constitutional protections (though those are being eroded regularly by a Supreme Court that favors the government in such cases) but he's usually one little guy against the power of the State (unless his name is OJ Simpson). The defendant is also up against what I'll call "the Cult of the Cop" - an odd presumption that doesn't exist in the legal world but seems to manifest itself in the public eye through unquestioned belief that a cop will not lie under oath, that "our boys in blue" are all about Mom, the Flag, and apple pie.

Which brings us to death cases, and last night's evil.

Death cases are awful to try. They take years, and the procedural safeguards are daunting. Prosecutors like them because they can build a career on the idea that putting the mass-murdering Defendant X to death will show that they protect the people by being "tough on crime." Likewise, defense attorneys can build a name by keeping Defendant X alive - if Defendant X can afford it (or, at least, the defense lawyer can look like a champion of the US Constitution in their efforts). At the end of the day, the only real ass on the line is that of the Defendant. The lawyers, judges, and staff go home. The Defendant? Not likely.

"Guilty beyond a reasonable doubt." That is the standard of proof sufficient to kill a person. There must be no taint of coercion or manipulation of the evidence.

This is all theory, in practice it's harder to tell.

This morning they murdered a man who was alleged to have murdered a police officer. Several of the eyewitnesses RECANTED their testimony and claimed that they'd lied on the stand (meaning that perhaps there are new perjury defendants for the prosecutors to charge). The irregularities were EVERYWHERE. A simple solution would have been to commute the sentence to life in prison and at least allow Troy Davis to live - what was the rush? There was no DNA evidence, no direct evidence, and as I've said a slew of "witnesses" recanted prior statements. A new trial would not have been too difficult.

But for a prosecutor it would be a form of career death. They traffic in being right, not in making mistakes. There's no allowance for human error, as they're not permitted to make them. They obviously do, of course, but they have to believe that they can't. Otherwise, who'd go to jail? Judges don't like resurrecting cases, there's enough new ones every day to keep them busy. The Pope writes letters that go unheeded. Former Presidents and celebrities try as well, to no avail. Go to a prison near your home and you'll notice that a majority of the guys and gals locked up are minorities - African-American and Hispanic. The proportionate numbers are staggering. This cannot be used to excuse criminal activity, but you've gotta ask yourself if the people who run the "system" don't prejudice themselves when they see another black man led in chains to their courtroom, thinking "another angry looking black guy, he's gotta be guilty."

Whoever killed the officer who was the victim in Troy Davis' case deserves whatever judgment God gives him. Maybe that was Troy Davis, but I doubt we'll ever know for sure. In cases where the State can kill a man, though, any doubt should dissuade them from flipping the switch and erasing him from existence - and there is certainly A TONNAGE of doubt regarding his case.

Instead, everyone who had power played Pontius Pilate and washed their hands. Y'all can't see the blood on your hands, you blind fools, but it's there nonetheless. If Troy Davis was indeed innocent, as he claimed, God help you.

Simplicity

"...the media sells it, and you live the role"

Ozzy Osbourne

How much of our identity springs from TV, movies, and "pop culture" in general? Better people than I have called American culture "disposable" and "junk," not like this is a new criticism. As I sit at my kitchen table in the morning and watch the day's news the big stories are about international strife (the middle East) and our current President's popularity rating juxtaposed with his opposing party's vehement opposition to his policies.

Well, am I wrong to think that the narrative continues irrespective of the names of the actual persons involved? Rewind the tape 4 years ago and we had strife overseas and the Bush presidency at loggerheads with a Democratic Congress.

Are you like me? You ever just exhale and think it's all a great big bowl of Suck? I know that it's wrong to feel that way but as Led Zeppelin said the song remains the same. The tune hardly changes.

They sell us. I think that's the true face of American culture: sales. We don't have door-to-door hucksters anymore, we don't need them in a day and age when cable and satellite beam shows like "Today" to an audience of millions and celebs make "guest appearances" wherein they hock some piece of junk that everyone will want to go out and buy.

And buy we do. When I was a kid I wasn't given an allowance (no, I was not a neglected kid but my parents didn't have a lot of money). When I wanted something I either waited for a birthday (my grandmother would spoil me) or try to earn it. I can recall saving up to buy the AC/DC album "Back in Black" in 5th grade, which I think I got for $7 at a record store. I helped my folks rake up the yard, I think.

[this story would be way better if the aforementioned letter led to a career as a rock star hero, but alas...]

My point being, I had to work for what I had. And like everyone else I joined the cult of the consumer and bought stuff, I got money and I spent it. This became even worse when I was given a credit card, and I still struggle with it to this day. Perhaps even moreso when you're a parent and your kids come running in squawking about how "so-and-so has this" etc, etc.

Why struggle? I'm smart enough to know better.

Because it's easy to say "yes," and our "culture" reinforces this ease and cultivates what my parents called the "I wants." It's been perfected now, to reach all cohorts of the country: scooter chairs for seniors, Viagra for boomers, Pampers for parents, cool stuff for 20-somethings, toys for children. From the womb to the tomb....they get ya. They embrace us, and we clearly embrace them back. I'm the fish, the hook is baited, and...CHOMP. Ow.

What caused the recession? I have no clue, but I'm willing to opine that it began with greed. And the word "yes." Yes, you can make a killing. Yes, you're house is really worth 10 times more than you paid for it 5 years ago. Yes, you can afford it all.

It's easy!

that's funny

I'm watching the "Today" show and the first item Anne Currie wants to discuss is the book "Confidence Men" by an author named Ron Suskind who just so happens to be sitting across from her. The book paints an unflattering picture of the early Obama presidency, with the attendant infighting, power struggles, and some misogyny thrown in for good measure. Mr. Suskind defends his sources and his book. The White House aides who are named issue vehement denials. Suskind claims that his book illustrates the evolution of a presidency.

Ok, I can buy his notion. Who among us has ever had experience as a President prior to the moment he (perhaps someday "she") has taken office? We haven't yet re-elected George H.W. Bush or Jimmy Carter - those 2 fellows would have prior on-the-job experience....but besides the shining example of Pres. Grover Cleveland I can't think of anyone who fits that bill.

My point being......why would the President or his aides bother with the denials? So you weren't the best executive right off the bat. Given the problems that the country was experiencing upon his January 2009 inauguration, even Christ himself would've had some difficulty. We elect these guys and somehow expect....what? That the fella has a magic bullet to make it all better? Absolute tripe. And, in a ridiculous sideshow, this White House (like many before it) is going to waste their efforts to tamp down negative stories.

Here's a thought, embrace your humanity. "Of course," they could say, "the new President had never been President before and there was a learning curve. Some growing pains, if you will. He's improved over the course of his 2 and 3/4 years on the job and will continue to do so as long as the American people see fit to have him as their President."

Why is it such a faux pas to admit one's foibles? The Obama administration is hardly the first. Mr. Suskind himself refused to admit that several errors (pointed out by error-prone Anne Currie) were indeed errors. Michele Bachman, as of this moment still a wingnut candidate for President of the Loonies, has made multiple gaffes on the campaign trail - yet in every story and at every turn she has refused to simply say "Yeah, I goofed on that. My bad." Sarah Palin made Tina Fey even more famous with her high-profile gaffes.

What's wrong with saying you've been wrong? Are apologies viewed as weakness? Do we the people expect omnipotence and perfection from our elected leaders? If so, I don't get that. We elect human beings. We don't elect pharaohs, ruling divinities, or theocracies here. The day we do is the day I move to another country because the results can only be madness.

So, Mr. Obama, shut your minions up. You're learning on the job. There's an entire party out there who's not going to vote for you even if you were crapping out gold bullion for the Treasury and cured cancer, forget them. Leave the false displays of power for the fools who would make them, admit you're just a guy trying his best to do a good job. And move on from there.

2-0, oh no

2-0 after games against the Giants and Cards. Next up is Dallas....this used to mean something back when both teams were good. You know, that "best rivalry in football" kind of thing that they use now for Patriots-Colts or Giants-Eagles.

It's pleasant to see the Redskins bounce back in these games from sluggish starts to rousing finishes, instead of the opposite. For the past 20 years the Skins have tantalized us fans with great starts, say- a 14-0 first quarter lead, only to seemingly remember "hey, we're not supposed to actually win" and blow it.

Again, they seem like a competent football team. Not world-beaters, they aint going undefeated this season, but competitive.

So the Cowboys are up next and that brings back what they used to call "Dallas week" around here. The Cowboys haven't dominated the Redskins lately nor have they been really good, but they've been a better team than the Redskins. And Romo brought his team back over the 49ers yesterday with a broken rib, something they'll sing songs about after he retires. It's easy to foresee Romo bombing the hell out of the Skins pass D next Monday night......or see Brian Orakpo and Ryan Kerrigan breaking a few more of his ribs. It's a toss-up. Likewise, it's easy to see Bad Rex tossing to the wrong team.......or Good Rex throwing for 350 and 3 TD's. I'm old-school (no, just old) and would prefer to see the Skins run for 200 yards in a Riggins-like beatdown. But that's just me.

Last week I wrote about the Ravens arriving....and this week, hmmmmm, are they leaving? Crushing the AFC Champs will make you overpraise them, and losing to the lowly Titans will make you think to underestimate them. They were exposed yesterday in Tennessee, though. Maybe there is a Sports Illustrated cover curse after all? My theory is that it's the purple: not quite red and not quite blue - they can't decide what they are.

We watched the Patriots beat San Diego, pretty workmanlike win there. The Patriots defense is heartburn-inducing at times, the offense is probably in the top 2 of the league. They seem to be morphing into the Colts since Peyton Manning's out. I find myself yelling at the TV, "run the damned ball a little!"

I absolutely love the Buffalo Bills uniforms, with the white helmets and blue jerseys. Reminiscent of the Patriots old red white and blues with white helmets. Classic and classy. I despised the Bills re-made CFL-looking duds. Not a huge fan of the Flying Elvis Patriot logo either, but at least there were those 3 championships.........

And Atlanta beat the Vick-led Eagles last night......I made several references on Facebook to "this game being a dogfight." And look what happened, he laid down like a dog.

heh, bye!

Hey ho, let's go!

As Baltimore fans will inform you, a little opening day win against a divisional opponent breeds a bit of optimism. 40 miles south of M&T Bank Stadium (a great place to watch a game that has an awful name) at Fedex Field (an awful place to watch a game with a better name), 'Skins fans caught some of that bug juice, too.

I watched some of the Ravens triumph over the inept-looking Steelers yesterday and it reminded me a little bit of the way Andy Reid's Philadelphia Eagles arrived a decade before. There was an opening day game (in 2000 or 2001....something like that) where the Eagles played Troy Aikman's Cowboys......and utterly destroyed them (the Eagles of course had a young Donovan McNabb, Deuce Staley, and a defense led by Jeremiah Trotter).

I recall Madden focusing on the Eagles' use of pickle juice as a way to fight dehydration and opining that the magic pickle juice was responsible for the fact that the Eagles dismantled an aging Dallas team piece by piece.

Anyway, a mostly young and hungry Ravens team ripped the Steelers apart limb from limb. And, for a change, the Ravens weren't boring to watch. Mr. Flacco was slinging the pigskin around like the second coming of Vinny Testaverde (in 1996-7 the Ravens (browns) had a potent offense). They looked like an NFL team instead of a great defense, which was much more fun to watch. The Steelers looked like your garden-variety Bengals team, which is to say dreadful. They looked old and slow compared to their opponents, and the lame brawl instigated by the Steeler defense only exposed them as frustrated chumps who used to be champs.

That said, I expect the Steelers to rebound. They can't be as bad as they looked yesterday, it's just not possible.

So I switch from that laugher to the Redskins, because thankfully the Redskins were playing the 4pm game. It didn't start pretty, what with the Giants defense stifling them a bit and Eli Manning running in a TD, but as the game wore on the Skins responded with something I'm not used to seeing....effort.

Reed Doughty might truly suck but he's a warm body when they need one, and though he did make a few lousy plays he also isn't afraid to stick his head in there and make a tackle. The new kid Kerrigan looked pretty good. They went up 21-14 before Sexy Rexy decided to put the ball on the turf, but the defense and Orakpo bailed them out.

This, too, was unusual, as I've become accustomed to seeing the Redskins act like a partial NFL team.....adequate offense is complimented by inept defense and vice versa. Not yesterday. Yesterday they resembled an actual team, with a functioning offense, defense, and special teams. Hell, even their punter made some great kicks that pinned the Giants deep and allowed them lousy field position. Then Rex puts the game away with a nice toss to Gaffney and...presto! 1-0

The difference between the 2 games is obvious. A 35-7 drubbing of the AFC champs announces that you're loaded for bear; a 28-14 win over the Giants (who've owned the Redskins) says "we're better."

And that's where those teams truly stand, I think. Should the Ravens continue to play well offensively then they're a playoff lock. The Redskins? I love 'em but they are merely climbing the ladder this season. It's a lot more fun to watch them climbing up the ladder than watching them wallow in the basement. I don't predict playoffs for my Redskins, I think they'll be an up-and-down team this year. HTTR anyway.

Finally, I saw some of the Sunday night game. Romo starts the game as Roger Staubach throwing to Drew Pearson. By game's end he's back to being Tony Romo and...well what the hell happened to Dez Bryant? Al Michaels is calling him a monster after a quarter and then......disappeared! I saw him on the sidelines being attended to by trainers, and he was a non-factor after that. Weird.

Tonight gives us the double-header, with my Patriots playing early. I'm rooting for Haynesworth to eat the Miami center.

the sound of silence

Anyone who follows the news knows all about the dreaded Hurricane Irene and its' attendant power outages. There were floods, wind-borne ills, and some people even died.

Us? Fortunately we only lost power to the house.

I guess the rain began sometime last Saturday afternoon while we were attending a surprise party for my first-ever boss (I worked as a lawn-mowing boy, and learned a lot from that job). When I went to be it was gusty and rainy but we had our electricity. Our older son woke us several times, the last I recall was about 3:15 am Sunday morning (according to the clock). By the time I got up we were in the dark.

And stayed that way until Wednesday night.

Ok, I admit that at first it was kinda cool. No TV or computers, our cells worked so we could check the news. We grilled our breakfasts outside and warmed some water for instant (blech) coffee. Charcoal-roasted bacon tastes really good, as it turns out. But it takes a lot longer to start the fire and cook up al the food that a family of 6 needs.

The kids pretty much looked lost all week. We managed to find some fun: card games, reading, hanging around out on our patio...stuff like that.

In the midst of all this Jack had his first day of school. It went off without a hitch thanks to him (he was happy about it) and my wife (a huge help in that regard). When Jack's unhappy he's like leading a Labrador somewhere it doesn't want to go.....he'll just STOP. You can force him, but he'll make you work for it.

Happily, he scooted off for the bus and has loved it. All 2 days of it thus far.

I was fortunate enough to have bought the 3rd of the "Song of Fire and Ice" stories written by George R.R. Martin, it's something like 900-plus pages long so I dove into that. Carol's still on Book 2 because...well.....she's slow.

Our kids decided to all huddle together at night on our big sofa to sleep in each other's presence. We did have to worry over our food (charcoal-grilled roast is really good) but we got lucky and found some dry ice. Dry ice is expensive crap, lemme tell ya....

So Wednesday night we were dealing out the cards on our table by candlelight with assistance from my cordless flashlight to play a game my daughter calls "BS". It's a bluffing game, you have to lie about the cards you're playing and if you get called on it (with the happy cry of "BS!") you either hand the discard pile across to the player who called you (if you were truthful) or you take that pile yourself if you lied. The object is, of course, to lose all your cards. I tend to get called more than most, and the kids seem to take glee when I lose and are very glum when I win.

We never found out who'd win, the power flipped back on in all its' glory. It was back to TV and ipads and all the other junk that occupies us here. We transmogrified from interconnectedness as a group to our usual state of disconnected connectedness to the worldwide meh.

and, hypocrite that I am, I'm posting this on that same meh.......

whole lotta shakin' goin' on

It had to happen eventually. I had always imagined that I'd experience an earthquake in, say, California. In fact, my grandfather (who lived in Las Vegas) was said to have prayed for The Big One to arrive thus giving him Pacific-front property.

So, I'm sitting at my table reading another George R.R. Martin book and having lunch when I feel a vibration on the floor. The kids were home, I figured it was them. I looked over towards the TV, where they'd take up a fixed address if they could, and noticed they weren't moving. Um, so if it's not them what's causing this? The washing machine, had to be. Except, um, I didn't run any laundry and the chances that any of the fruits of my loins would : A) voluntarily run laundry; and B) do it without my knowledge were as remote as....an earthquake in central Maryland.

After eliminating those possibilities I figured it out. The glass started tinkling and the house started shaking and my daughter ran upstairs with eyes the size of dinner plates yelling "what's going on?!!"

Like a dummy, apparently, I got them out of the house. Many of my neighbors were milling around outside. My eldest daughter was busy facebooking the news almost instantaneously. Our phones went down (all of them, cell phones too). But e-mail and the wi-fi worked so I got the news fast enough. The TV news was nonexistent, they were running soaps.

A few minutes later I got an e-mail from my wife, whose experience was less.....vivid. She was apparently in a bathroom stall at the time. I suppose it was a...moving experience.

ba-dum-bump!

America the Furious

OK, I am more than aware that it's a logical fallacy to argue from the specific to the general. I'm going to do it anyway, so you've been warned. Our world would be much better if instead of "SPOILER ALERT" in every stupid article on a book or movie we'd use "LOGICAL FALLACY" in op-ed pieces, radio talk shows, and cable "news" propagandist channels.

But first, an aside; I was trudging through a workout yesterday at the gym (because, at my age, one simply trudges like a dull-witted beast of burden through such things) when the cable channels lit up with news that Col. Ghaddafi was about to be deposed. Life is a loop, a wheel, an endless run of river...I was similarly situated 8 years earlier watching US troops topple Saddam Hussein in Iraq.

Alas, Mr. Ghaddafi remains in power as of this morning. But the sands in the hourglass are dwindling fast.

I'm pretty sure if you're reading this that you know about the 49er-Raider brawl over the weekend. And, if you're a Facebook pal o'mine you might have watched the video I posted from the Ravens-Chiefs game wherein some Raven fans start shoving a Chiefs fan around. To those sorry instances I'll toss in the Dodgers-Giants fight in LA that left a San Francisco Giants fan hospitalized with brain injuries. Oh, and last season on my way back from a Redskins-Eagles game (the Monday nighter where Vick went apesh*t on the Redskins?) I witnessed at least 2 such brawls....that appeared to be between Redskin fans. Several years ago I saw Baltimore fans at a Ravens-Jaguars game start to menace and shove around a guy in a Jacksonville jersey. My children and I were threatened by Oriole fans because we had the audacity to cheer for the Red Sox at Oriole Park a few years ago. By the 3rd inning my kid weren't standing up to cheer for the Sox; when I asked why they said they were scared of the guys behind us (I'd been ignoring them). They kept it up for a few innings and got bored I guess.

My point in ennumerating them is that these are not isolated incidents. Yes, they're committed by guys (mostly) who are: 1) most likely drunk; and 2)probably the type that gets into these kind of scrapes regularly.

And, in the Bay Area brawl last weekend, well those guys look like the type---right? Yet, watch the Ravens clip (it's on youtube). There's a kid who looks like your average DMB/Phish fan dressed in the uniform of the Frat Boy (yet in a purple shirt, why purple?) who decides it's OK to walk up to the Chiefs fan and start shoving him around.

There's no audio, perhaps there was verbal provocation but I doubt it. And, for his trouble, the young fella gets knocked out; his buddies were numerous though and they...uh...defended his honor.

If you've been to games you've probably heard and seen this. Anger. Threats. There's a line between good-natured "Ah, get outta here ya bum" when another team's fan is cheering on his team and the outright hostility that you sometimes see. I'm not trying to be disingenuous here, I realize that millions of us go to these games every year and that out of those millions we're seeing maybe 100 such incidents (if that) a year.

But what the hell are people so angry about? That a guy roots for another team? That he/she is different than you?

There's a parallel to our national discourse on politics and policy. On the left we have MSNBC and some of the CNN shows that espouse liberalism; and on the right we have Fox. CNN tries to straddle the line but leans left. The talking heads employed by all of those networks exalt their agendas over the agendas of the "other." Newspapers have been doing this for years.

At some point some genius decided that it was more important to present the public with "news pieces" that appealed to our emotions. And, at some point, they also discovered that we as a country had become lazy. We like to read and hear "news" items that reflect and reinforce what we already believe to be true. The basic function of news as a mere recitation of fact is nearly extinct, we have no one to blame for this except for our own laziness as people.

That all starts, I'm arguing, with the fact that we don't challenge ourselves. We surround ourselves with like-minded people. We watch and read things that reinforce and reflect our own beliefs and prejudices. We spin nice little cocoons that shield us from anything that would threaten our reality.

And, when we feel that cocoon is threatened, there's anger and hostility.

Look at this morning's news. In the Washington Post there's a guy lampooning Governor Perry for his stance on global warming. Rush Limbaugh is using the new Oreo cookie to make an overtly racist Obama joke (which he'll get away with, for reasons only the devil knows). Democrats demonize Republicans and vice versa.

There's barely a discussion of policy pros and cons, there's simply: "This is what I think. You're stupid and wrong if you think otherwise and you're ideas are bad for America."

In other words, "you don't root for my team and so you deserve to be punched."

This country is a good place to live and has good people in it, but we're nothing more than that. We're not Egyptians or Canannites who believe that God (or gods) granted us a Divine right to exercise dominion over the globe we were fortunate enough to be born on. What sets us apart from other countries has been our ability as a people to forge common ground.

Sometime in the 1980's they started self-esteem as part of the educational curricula in schools, which I thought was rubbish. I do wonder, sometimes, if the attitudes of young people have been warped into consequences that weren't intended by the authors of that curricula. When you're convinced that you're the greatest ever and life doesn't fall into place as you'd hoped....when you make yourself the center of the universe in your own mind and no one recognizes your self-appointed greatness......are fear, anger, and fury the only rational response.?

Or....hell....it could just be the beer.

Monday rhymes with "Fun day"

Well, today is like most days therefore it's just another day with nothing really fun about it. But if you're like me you're having a better day than Raffie Furcal is....he sprained his wrist slipping or stumbling on a dugout railing. Good shortstop in his day, I remember this nose-picking episode from the 2008 NLCS wherein the Dodgers really didn't have much of a prayer against the Phillies.

Some things (like boogers) should be saved for the privacy of one's home. Or at the very least a stall.

How 'bout those Redskins? Becks looked like a real NFL QB against the "sort-of trying but Peyton is injured" Colts. Anyone else see that scar on the back of Manning's neck? I'd think twice before putting him on my fantasy football team.

'Skins looked competent rather than "Juggernaut-esque." My eldest had a "preview" marching band performance Friday night that always inspires dread....not for the performance as much as for the band director's long-windedness - hence I'm anxious to simply watch the kids play their music so I can also see most of the Redskin game. At about 6:20 Friday, I guess because storms were lurking in the evening skies, the band director cut herself short and just let the kids play. My kid's band sounded great, they'll have a good season in their ridiculous looking outfits.

Somehow, miraculously, I was home by the time Tim Hightower punched in the first TD of the game which was the only TD of the game. Not too shabby, really.

Still too early for any non-facetious predictions about the Redskins or any other team at this point. Injuries and assorted bulls@*& will affect the pointless exercise of predicting. In fact, I might boycott the idea of predicting at all simply because of the stupidity of the exercise: no one knows how it will all shake out and therein lies the fun of actually watching the games.

Duh!

Or, do I read a bunch of NFL prediction pieces simply to be able to point to how wrong "the experts" got it? Schadenfreude is an ugly, ugly thing.

Instead of reading junk sports pieces I've been reading actual books. On a lark (and because Borders is going out of business) I picked up the first of the "Song of Fire and Ice" books titled "Game of Thrones." It's a bit like "Lord of the Rings" and "Harry Potter" only it's exclusively for grown-ups (language, sex, and violence) - and it's pretty good stuff. And Stacey Schiff's "Cleopatra" which is historical-based "meta-history" .....there are very few primary sources from which to draw a larger view of the Egyptian queen (most of the Roman writers wrote their histories of her 100 years after her death) so Ms. Schiff infers many interesting notions from the record and her own imagination. A good read, almost a companion piece to "Game of Thrones." "

When you play the game of thrones you win or you die."

So, 2 and a half weeks and two books read (no, I'm not really bragging, merely reporting). And since the first book hooked me like a bloated fish I of course bought Book 2, and Book 3....I'm a consumer, it's what I do.

8 days till school starts, I'm nearly a liberated dude

This one's probably below the belt

This one comes to you from my youngest brother, who passed it along to me a few days ago. This Michele Bachman just keeps giving and giving.

We get the leaders we deserve. Somehow, this obscure politician who happens to speak like a complete nincompoop is attracting attention for (depending upon your views): her husband's gay-fixing counseling center; her policy stances; or her verbal gaffes.

Or, now, photographs. There's a different photo of her husband out there in which he is pretending to stick a corn dog up his nose. Let's hope it's not the exact same one.

I'm really growing to hate American politics. Well, I've never lived anywhere else so I should probably simply use the word "politics" as the object of the previous sentence. In either case, with the exception of Pres. George H.W. Bush in 1988, we've been electing demagogues to the office. In the cases of Reagan and Clinton, those demagogues were actually able to govern. Since 2004, however, I'm skeptical. I think Pres. George W. Bush's first term holds up, but his second was clearly an administration that lurched from crisis to crisis whilst sparring with a Democratic Congress. Now, Pres. Obama is in the same boat. Coalition governance is simply nonexistent, I suppose this is because neither side has any incentive to truly bridge the policy gaps.

And, why? The calendar today reads August 18, 2011. In a year, we'll be in the thick of an election where the House and Senate are up for grabs. So's the Presidency, but I shudder to think of the silliness that will be descending upon us this time next year. Ugh.

As of today, I can't vote for anyone on the Republican side with the glaring exception of - perhaps - Mitt Romney. He's not particularly flashy when compared to his competitors but he has a solid resume of executive experience coupled with a record of policy achievements in a state dominated by Democrats.

Of course, I'd have voted for McCain if he hadn't tossed another demagogue on his ticket. My guess is that Candidate Romney - if he gets that far - will put another lunatic on the ballot as well in order to try and appease the crazies.

Let's hope they don't serve corn dogs.

No, not the Redskins this time

Oh, hi!

Watching the "Today" show this morning and they profiled this 4-year old Mississippi preacher who's obviously mimicking his father or someone else he's seen. I needed the "hearing impaired" subtitles to understand just what in God's name the child was saying because I just couldn't understand the kid. It sounded like high-pitched gibberish to my old worn down ears.

I really hate when parents steal their own child's childhood for their own self-promoting agendas. I'm sure the kid enjoys attending church with his family and believes in Jesus, etc., but the parents who allow this to become a national story are lousy parents. So are the "stage moms" (or dads) who toss the fruit of their loins into the kid's beauty pageants. For that matter, you've probably seen some lousy parents at your own local kid's athletic leagues.

"Verbal shrug." What're ya gonna do, other than complain? Answer: not much, but complaining sounds fine to me, thank you very much.

Oh, look! Kate Gosselin's show was cancelled. Must be coincidence. Please, sweetie (and your AWFUL haircut) don't go away mad....just go away.

OMG they're adequate!

GET YOUR NEEDLE AND THREAD READY, GRANDMA, WE NEED ROOM FOR "2011"!!!!!

It's halftime of the Epic Redskins/Steelers preseason game that is so very obviously a preview of February's Super Bowl XLWhateverthehellnumver we'reon and it's so clear that Rex Grossman will indeed be the NFL's MVP and that Tim Hightower will win the rushing title and that Santana Moss will catch more balls than [insert off-color comment here]. Obviously, you can't run on this first team defense and you must give much credit to the Redskins offensive line - they're giving Sexy Rexy all this time to throw.

I've got a special feeling about this team. No, I haven't had a single thing to drink, why do you ask?

Logging in to NFLShop.com, ordering Grossman jerseys for the whole family right now!

Another year, I'm still a sucker

Those of us who continue to root for your Washington Redskins can still recall the euphoria that existed when Snyder signed this big fella. "Oh, wow, they'll be awesome!"

Er.........as my eldest daughter says...."FAIL."

[Or, in another of my many abusive parantheticals....recall the signing of Dana Stubblefield and Dan Wilkinson, or Jeff George, or Jessie Armstead and Jeremiah Trotter, Deion, Brandon Lloyd, Bruce Smith, the list is extensive and the only good ones have been Brad Johnson and London Fletcher]

So this year it's on to bigger and better things. Or, not. That, they say, is why the game is played. On the field, I guess they mean. And there are 16 games plus playoffs. Oh, and "exhibition" games that are referred to as "pre-season." I'm digressing.

One of my goals moving forward is to update this blog more often, with shorter entries so it's more like a real blog instead of some weird kind of written therapy session where the shallow contents of my mind simply spill out onto a page. As you can tell, I'm at war with that impulse. White space? We must fill it.

Wait a sec, wasn't one of my stated goals to fill up the Internet?

Today the Redskins host the Steelers in an exhibition game where nothing will count save for injuries. If you go you must pay full price for a seat, of course. The Steelers are a known quantity of Super Bowl caliber players who came up rather short in the big game last February (oh, so sorry Steeler nation, ya bunch of pierogi-eating Hunyaks). I am willing to be actual cash money that they'll be in the hunt for the AFC crown this winter, along with New England (my less-loved second wife), Baltimore, and San Diego. Pittsburgh has a QB-cum-unconvicted felon, some pretty good WR's and of course a tremendous defense.

The Redskins? Let's NOT use the term "Re-building." That only applies if something had - at some point- been built. Mr. Snyder has owned the team for 12 years or so and has never actually attempted to build a team but instead preferred to attempt to buy one.

This is nothing outrageous. Click on DC Sports talk and you'll hear every third caller say as much.

I am actually encouraged by this year's approach. In response to the 2008-10 Zorn debacle Danny hired a GM and "The Shanahan Boys" to clean house. In 2010-11, that didn't happen. Blame was laid squarely upon the shoulders of Donovan McNabb and Fat Albert.

O.....K........

Now they're gone and so are the excuses they helped to spawn. It also appears that the aforementioned brain trust is trying to build a team through ACTUALLY USING draft picks and hiring younger, hard-working players through free agency.

[Another abuse of grammar: please to be recalling that the Redskins drafting abilities are suspect....see "Howard, Desmond;" or "Westbrook, Michael;" or "Shuler, Heath"]

I'm encouraged. I'm hoping that the management crew does in-fact have a plan and will stick to it. 2011-12 is, for we Redskins fans, more than likely a lost season. I'm all in favor of hoping that John Beck or Sexy Rexy can actually complete a pass....I'm just not all that optimistic that it will happen. In fact, I think the team's offense will once again stink. The D is stocked with those young guys and I think that by mid-season they'll be playing decent football.

My heart wants to say 16-0, Beck's the league MVP and in February there's a Lombardi Trophy paraded through Georgetown, just like when I was in high school.

My head says 6-10 at best, with glimmers of hope for next year. This team will still need a reliable Offensive line and should hope and pray that they find a franchise QB someday before I'm too old to care.

"Hail to the Redskins, we're gonna kinda blow this yeeeeearrrr"......Sing it!