Well, that worked out great

In a blog without any real purpose or mission-statement I'm free to write whatever I want. Today, I've decided to write more words than I need to in order to help fill up the Internet. They tell us that the Internet has a finite amount of space, and my new mission in life is to fill it with as much stupid prattling as I can.

It's been about two years since the last election....guess it's time for another one. Groan. It's a rainy September 30th here in the Baltimore-DC area but it may as well be November 5th. The airwaves are inundated with political ad after political ad after political ad. Here in Maryland, the two past and present Governors are airing spots that each accuse the other of being pedophiles or puppy-killers or God knows what. I imagine it's the same all over the country.

Anyone else sick of it, already?

It would be one thing if these differences were truly substantive, but here in Maryland it's not. Gov. O' Malley (D) and Mr. Ehrlich (R) are really not all that far apart on the BIG issues. This is mostly because Mr. Ehrlich is a reasonable, rational former Congressman who is not a yelling screaming slavering tea-party type. In fact, the esteemed and/or derided Mrs. Palin endorsed some guy who can't get his ads on TV at all. The big bitch here in Maryland? Ehrlich was governor when our energy company (BGE) hiked up our electric rates..... which is an unfair criticism of his governorship since the rate hikes were a legislative mechanism and had nothing to do with the governor's office.

Still, I guess he's a Republican and it helps the O'Malley folks tar him as in bed with big business - the great Democratic bugaboo.

In reply, Ehrlich tags O'Malley as a "tax-and-spend" liberal. Again, same old bugaboo. The true believers are breathlessly awaiting Election Day....but for me it's a choice between 1(a) and 1(b) - I don't see a whole hell of alot of difference.

Do you identify as a Democrat, or Republican? I registered Democrat so I could vote in the primary (I'm well aware I'm repeating myself), but have no strong ties to the PARTY. I can't imagine why anyone would. There's been much written and said about the partisanship and anger we've seen since the Inauguration in January 2009 (and before that, obviously), but I truly do not understand it.

Why the bitter divisions? Why does one man look across the aisle at his counterpart and see it as a battle of "us and them," of "good guys and bad guys?" I've heard it said far far too much, that we're Americans first and Democrats and Republicans second...but why does no one act like it...no one walks that walk?

Is it simply the easier thing to do? Instead of seeking to understand "the other" it's easier to simply lock horns and try to shove the other out of our way or shout them down? Is it easier for Christians to simply see all Muslims as "bad" and all Christians as "good" - even when we know that to be an impossibly simplistic belief?

Yeah, that's probably some of it.

Or this:

Where did our corporate leaders go? Sure, name a few...Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, the Ford family....the Hersheys in Pennsylvania, or Carnegie. VERY FEW Where have their ilk gone? America, built on private enterprise in tandem with good governance, seriously lacks men (or women) who are willing to use their wealth to lead. Philanthropy by the truly wealthy, always lacking in tough times, can shine a light that government operations cannot. Governments don't inspire, people do. Our larger corporations continue the practice of outsourcing, essentially telling Americans who used to look to those businesses for jobs that they're worthless, used up. Replaceable.

I think one other reason, amongst many, is that these divisions are profitable. Thanks to our Supreme Court's ruling this year, money can be funnelled into our political system unfettered by disclosures and limitations. John McCain and Russ Feingold's system (that resulted in McCain's defeat, I'll point out) was destroyed in favor of....well, we'll see...who knows what our "system" of politics will look like in a few years.

That aside, "news" organizations like Fox and MSNBC make cash on the influence-peddling of talking heads who - while they polarize some - attract viewers like flies to sh*t. You watch to see what outrage is being perpetrated by "them" against "us."

There are good ones. I happen to like reading EJ Dionne, Kathleen Parker (I might have a crush on her), and Michael Gerson. Yes, they have their POV, but they also think and express themselves as thoughtful. Not in extremes, or in vitriol, but through the exercise of their reason. I might agree or disagree, depending on what they're writing about. But at least I can disagree thoughtfully.

In its' final analysis, I suppose it's simply all about gaining or re-gaining power - and the players will use any means at their disposal to get it.

And, well, I just can't take the anger anymore. Makes me want to put my forehead down on the table and breathe very slowly. I don't understand it. I can freely admit that I'm no paragon of virtue: I've shouted people down and name-called before. I can regret my behavior and apologize, and try to live better as I walk on. I'm no preacher, I won't convert anyone to seeing things my way. No one listens anyway.

But if I could impart anything it'd be this: love everybody; listen to their voices and understand the words and thoughts behind them, whether you agree or not; vote your conscience; and - above all - God gave you gray matter for a purpose - THINK.

Displaying one's ignorance all over a page

6-10 last weekend on the NFL picks. Sh*t. Perhaps I should start handicapping baseball games. Thank God I don't have the money or inclination to gamble.

The awful recap:

Lions lost to Vikings: oops. Favre didn't play great, but there's this guy Peterson who's pretty good. Lions are fooling all of you but me....Team of Destiny

Pats dump Bills: of course they did. But Buffalo didn't go quietly because my 2nd wife's defense can't play.

Falcons beat Saints: yup, I called it. Saints haven't looked Super. Let me crow, it gets worse for me.

Titants beat Giants: something wrong with Big Blue

KC beats San Francisco: this just in, KC might have a team. I thought the 49ers played well in defeat Monday night, so I figured that momentum would carry. Nope.

Tampa lost to Steelers: missed BADLY. Pittsburgh has one more game till El Rapist returns, and I'm wondering if they even need him. They look just fine to me.

Bengals drop Panthers: heh. Long season in Carolina.

Ravens defeat Browns: but it was close, and the Cleveland offense racked up some yards on that Baltimore D. That Cleveland kid, Hillis, looked like Riggo out there.

Texans lose to Dallas: not like Dallas was going to go 0-16 this year. I stuck my neck out on this one and got bit.

Jags fall to Eagles: another BAD miss. Vick (woof woof) can apparently do little wrong this season, and will be an Alpo spokesperson by Thanksgiving.

Redskins lose to Rams: blllaaarghghghgh

Raiders lose to Cardinals: what happened to Jason Campbell?

Chargers get beaten in Seattle: See? I picked against too many home teams this week. Didn't see the Chargers playing badly against a young Seattle team

Colts drop Denver: well, picked against THIS home team. No-brainer

Miami beats NY Jets: almost got this one. Tight game. I didn't hear any Collinsworth-isms this Sunday night. No odes to a man's lower body strength. No "he ran up the A hole." Depressing. Miami's orange jerseys are an affront to Dreamsicles everywhere

Packers over Bears: Again, almost. Aaron Rodgers played really well but Pack couldn't run. Is there any player on the field that Jon Gruden DOESN'T like?? Seriously, every guy: "I love to watch him play ball...." Getting close to coining the term "Grudenism" very, very soon.

Soooo.....that's 14-18 for the season. Great start. Not even .500. The worst part of yesterday, as I mourned yet another Redskin loss, was hearing the DC sports guys start "weaving the narrative" that Mike Shanahan is not a good coach...that "this is the kind of thing that got him run out of Denver" and how he needs to do......something - they weren't very specific. Play Devin Thomas. Trade Fat Albert.

Oh wait, how about this??? Have a real draft in 2011. And, wowie zowie - another good draft in 2012. Build a team?

The single best part of writing down all of this silliness is to see, over time, how I do at something I have no expertise on whatsoever. I get to display my ignorance all over the place and then forget how dumb I really am by the next time I start typing.

St. Louis? Meet me in hell

Really? A friggin' 30-16 loss after leading one of the worst teams in professional football that - oh by the way- starts a rookie QB. That Redskin defense is aces, I tell ya.

I only saw the second half, as I was "skating" in a hockey game. It appeared that I was skating, but I was also digesting an enormous amount of food I'd eaten at my nephews' birthday party only 45 minutes or so prior to game time. Note to self: do not attempt to digest and skate at the same time. I was a pylon out there, pathetic.

Which, come to think of it, was what the Redskins looked like in yesterday's game. Maybe they were collectively celebrating (unbeknownst to us) my twin nephews' party also - they're really cool little kids - I'd completely understand. They can count to 10 in English, Spanish, and Japanese - and just turned three. They seem to like me, and that's a plus.

Who dropped a banana peel on the field late in the 4th quarter??? D'Angelo Hall raised some hackles last week claiming that he wanted to cover the other team's best receiver (does St. Louis even HAVE receivers??) and then......whoopsies! Fell right on his ass. We've all had bad days at the office, they're just not nationally televised. That play's gonna be on "football follies" someday, coupled with his prior statement.

Remember last week? I was down about the close loss to Houston but encouraged that my team had done a good job hanging in there with a superior opponent. This week, I'm fuming. Apparently, Portis played a good 1st half and then.....crickets. McNabb nails Moss with the deep ball and a penalty gets 'em to the 10....drive ends with another field goal. Crickets. This week sucked!!

Hey! Did you read that the Redskins are one of a group of teams that has voted unanimously to decertify the NFLPA? Great news, right?? This means they can sue the NFL ownership if they're locked out after this season. Awesomer. Why can't they vote not to suck?

Much is being made in the paper this morning about how, this time last year, the 'Skins dropped a similar game to a similar Detroit team on Week 3....and it began the downward spiral (or flush cycle, choose your metaphor) that ended with Zorn's departure etc etc. I hope, obviously, that's not the case with this season. I'm confident in the coach and QB, but realistic -- this team isn't that good yet. Trading away years of draft picks and handing out too much money has caught up with 'em, they're older and less-talented top-to-bottom than other teams. No depth. Blah blah blah - all the sports talk babble will tell you this.

And, of course, it's Monday and raining at my house. Screw you, Redskins. I'm all about my new team, the 3-0 Kansas City Chiefs.

Oh yeah, the Patriots won. Yay, Pats. See? No real sincerity in it. Second-wife status must suck.

Pickin' pros, not my nose

Football picks, on Friday! Write them down and bet on them at home. Anyone who bests me gets a free signed photograph.

I was .500 last week, maybe I'll improve. Where there is light, there is hope.

Detroit at Minnesota: Favre's on my fantasy team, Lions are my Team of Destiny. Lions.

Buffalo at Patriots: Pats. Buffalo is preparing for the 2011 draft.

Atlanta at New Orleans: take Saints at home, or notice that the Saints haven't looked Super yet. Falcons.

Tennessee at NY Giants: Tennessee. I'm thinking the Giants aren't all that great. Chris Johnson is.

San Francisco at KC: 49ers will improve, they played pretty well vs. New Orleans.

Pittsburgh at Tampa: a coming out party for the Bucs? Could be. Pittsburgh got lucky last weekend when, with 14 seconds left, a pass interference call was not made on their corner, who never looked back for the ball on a would-be TD pass. Pittsburgh's luck runs out this week. Tampa.

Cincinnati at Carolina: long season, redux. Bengals

Cleveland at Baltimore: unless Flacco ( also starting on my Team of Fantasy) gives the ball up 4 times, Ravens. But the Browns will play Baltimore tough.

Dallas at Houston: the marquee matchup for Texas. Texans D was a sieve last week against my 'Skins, and I'm sure someone in Dallas noticed even if the head coach didn't. Wade Phillips: good defensive coach, maybe not a good head coach. Texans.

Philly at Jacksonville: the dogs of the world will pick the Jags. I will, too. Woof woof.

Washington at St. Louis: Redskins. I think my team gives us fans a big win.

Oakland at Arizona: For some stupid reason, Raiders.

San Diego at Seattle: Chargers still got some spice in the rack.

Indy at Denver: Colts

NY Jets at Miami: another tough one. I'd take the home team if they can score points. Dolphins in a close one.

Green Bay at Chicago: big-time game for the Bears to serve notice. For a good Packers team, not so much at stake. But these teams hate each other. I'll pick Green Bay, but a Bears win wouldn't shock me.

Gay-gay vs. Pop Vacuity....

I don't write it very often, but I've got two daughters. One is 15, the other 11 in a few weeks. For all intents and purposes it means I've got two teenaged girls on my hands, and I only had brothers growing up. My cousins are both gals, but are alllllot younger than me (Hi, Kath and Kristen). Until I dated, I think I was 15 on my first date (Hi, Emily) my mom was the only female I saw on an everyday basis. This has scarred me, I'm sure (Hi, mom).

Anyway, this summer was - like alot of red hot American summers- full of music. The newspapers and other media tell us (stupidly, I think) that every summer has its' anthem. For us, this year's was a toss-up, Katy Perry's "California Gurls" and Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance."

I heard both alot, even in my middle-aged decidedly uncool life as I schlepped through shopping malls or cavorted in amusement parks or walked on Atlantic Ave. in Va. Beach. Both are catchy, even though I tend to dislike dance music. My younger daughter loved 'em both, my teenaged gal only likes The Gaga.

I'm with her. Gaga is full of pathos. I bought the album and have listened to it, and it's full of emotion - practically oozes it. Yeah, I find some of her bizarre outfits and behavior wacky (yes, I realize that's the point), but there's some substance to it. I really believe that, if you read the lyrics to some of her songs, it'd hold up as a Nine Inch Nails album. Yes, you could make a metal/rock version of just about every song on the album. And she's a freak bitch, baby. Gays in the military? Eh, eh, whatever darlin'.

Katy Perry, on the other hand, is a horse of a different feather. [I'm trying to create malaprops] I once used the word "vacuous" to describe someone I liked very much - and I truly wish I could take it back. But, if I could, I'd turn around and slap the tag on Katy Perry. Her songs are (like Fergie) borderline illiterate and empty. Yeah, we get it, you're hot. Her much-ballyhooed hit video is stupid fluff (again, I realize that's kind-of the point), and one of her other videos consist of her wearing different period outfits (as in "wouldn't I have looked hot in the '40's?"). It's all window-dressing without any substance, what Morrissey called candy-coated "popstar thicker than pigsh*t, nothing to convey." Katy Perry, to borrow Hunter Thompson's words, is what we get when the Nazis win the war. Dreadful.

---this shouldn't single her out, there are a ton of them, the music industry locates, chews up, and spits out these ingenues on a depressingly regular basis. And, we, the public, eat up our Soylent Green because it's catchy and the kids can dance to it. I have, however, seen the "Sesame Street" clip that's garnering so much attention today, and it's harmless. I have a 4-year old son, and I want him to be able to appreciate a good rack when he sees one.

But, for this dad, they can dance to something that's catchy and that has some meat to it. And it wails out, in anguished tones, "I want your love, I don't wanna be friends...."

Picking the pros till they scab and bleed

Hey fans! Here's your "Collinsworth-ism" for the week:

"....it's like he's got his eyes closed and he can feel them coming all around him..."

Thanks and g'night!!

On Friday, last, I filled up half a page with football picks for Sunday's games. I did this armed with nothing more than years of "fandom". I went 8-8 for the week, which is the same as flipping a coin.

Of course, it's only week 2 so it's tough to get a read on how teams are really performing. Last weekend's games showed that the Jets offense did indeed awaken; that Brett Favre needed a few more training camp reps; and that the Chargers are far from dead.

The Review:

Bucs over Panthers: called it. Long season for Carolina

Titans over Steelers: Nope. It was close but I didn't think Vince Young would suck so bad at home. I saw the last moments of that game, and there was a BLATANT pass interference call against the Steelers that was ignored by the stripes....the DB did not even look back to the ball, which -as Madden used to say - is a clear-cut pass interference call.

Packers over Bills: yeah, called it. Went way out on limb and picked the Pack.

Lions over Eagles: damn near called this one. I'm pulling for Detroit, Norman Chad has his Team of Destiny...mine's the Lions. I'll keep picking them, eventually I'll be correct.

Dallas over Chicago: oh, poor Cowboys....I missed on this one. But seriously, who saw this coming? All that talent? All that national exposure? What is the sound of a very large party balloon deflating?

KC over Cleveland: Called it.

Ravens over Cincy: oops. Flacco goes from comparisons to Unitas last year to....Art Schlichter this year? We'll see. That excellent defense in Baltimore should simply elbow that offense out of the way and play two-way football, let Ed Reed play QB. Bengal fans?---you should kiss those refs. And - as mentioned last week - Joe F. and Ray Rice are on my fantasy team...KISS O' DEATH.

Atlanta over Arizona: called it. Falcons will be a good team.

Oakland over St. Louis: poor Jason Campbell, he was benched. Called it.

Seattle over Denver: ooops. Seattle's big win over SF made me do this.

Minnesota over Miami: oops. Believed in Favre. Shouldn't have. Should have remembered that Brett Favre is on my fantasy team, and will suffer the dreaded (and aformentioned) kiss. Dolphins might be pretty good.

Texans over Redskins: called it, but hate myself for doing so. I was correct, in that if the Redskins schemed this game they had a chance against a better Texan team. But they botched the scheme in the 4th quarter. If Andre Johnson played in Dallas, and not Houston, he'd be on TV every night.

Chargers over Bills: called it. Phillip Rivers is a good QB

Patriots over Jets: oops. Jets offense shows up this week. Patriots D is a work in progress.

Giants over Colts: nope. Missed this one. Didn't bother watching it, my wife looked too good to pass up.

Saints over 49ers: called it, but the Saints gave me a scare. 49ers offense woke up and played, unlike last week vs. Seattle.

The theme of the weekend appeared to be twofold: 1) home teams should NEVER be underestimated; and 2) teams sometimes "gel" sluggishly when a season starts, so Week 1 stumbles aren't ipso facto season-long slumps.

______________________________

As for me, I logged a little time with Redskins sports talk and felt better about Sunday's loss. I didn't make my point emphatically enough on Monday. If you love your team, I mean really really really really LOVE your team ...as opposed to "like" or "I'm a fan"...you bleed when they lose. As dumb as it sounds (and admittedly it sounds very dumb and trite and droll and stupid in a world where there are bigger things to be concerned about and better things to be spending one's time on) it affects my mood. At least temporarily. Like I said, my wife looked good Sunday night, and you can't underestimate these things.

But today, 2 days removed, I'm cool with it. This Redskins season is sure to be more fun than the last two, and I'm in the happy place of not having to root for Todd Collins to save them. Buh-bye, Todd, safe home.

Anything else? Nah. There was hockey practice, where I morph from amiable guy to the Drill Instructor in "Full Metal Jacket." Or my reading of the novel "Matterhorn," which I recommend to you candy-assed pukes out there who (like me) never served in the military. Instead, I can report that "The Fred Movie" is well-loved by 15 to 4 yr. old kids, and that it thoroughly, thoroughly sucks.

First girls, and other odds-n-ends

Some kooky fan art I found. Pretty goofy, and oddly-PC, in that "empowering" kind-of way. Or not. Send all hate mail to www.shaddap.org

I'll re-visit the football picks tomorrow, after tonight's scintillating Saint-49ers game. I'm sure it'll be a classic. My picks? Equally classic.

Everyone's got a favorite dance partner when it comes to one's sports teams. Sure, you might have several teams you like or you'll follow because you're interested by them - but your first is always....first.

For me, it's the Washington Redskins. My grandfather was a huge fan, spending over 40 years of Sundays on his couch yelling at the TV. He was rewarded in 1982 with a championship, and passed away only 5 weeks prior to the out-of-nowhere Super Bowl win after the 1987 season.

I guess I was in 5th grade when the 'Skins nabbed my little heart. Their first Super Bowl win vs. Miami that season was icing on the cake, I was hooked. That was the Theissman-Riggins-Monk team after the strike. Good times.

After that, burgundy and gold. Yes, I've written here about your New England Patriots, and I like them too. But they're the 2nd wife. The Redskins lose on a Sunday and I'm instantly existential and morose - why am I here what am I doing and WHY do I do this to myself on a weekly basis. Pats lose......crap, that sucks. Baseball or Hockey? Not even close. I might get a little downbeat but it's never a biggie.

Not so the Skins. I've never cried - I reserve crying for Lions and Browns fans (really, it's not fair), but I get moody, argumentative, and all around am a cruddy person to be around.

SO IT IS that yesterday, my team lost a heartbreaker in OT to a better Houston team. They were in that one, up by alot going into the 4th quarter and yet Houston's more-talented players pulled out a win. Seriously, Andre Johnson could not ever be covered by Reed Doughty - never should've happened. The 'Skins could not run, but kept a very-spry looking Donnie Mac upright almost the entire game. I am diggin' on the yellow pants, too. There's retro-suck and retro-cool....this is retro-kinda cool. Gano hits what could've been the winner...I'm on Olympus. Oops. Rackers actually does hit it, 5 minutes later....I'm on Mt. Trashmore.

But my team's performance allowed me to be an optimist. The QB play was phenomenal, I've not seen anything like it in DC since Brad Johnson's great 1999 season. The 'Skins defense has 3 or 4 true talents (Landry, Orakpo, Fletcher, and MAYBE Hall), and the rest is being done with schemes..smoke and mirrors. The team hung in there against ....HELLO?.....a Texans team who defeated the high-n-mighty Colts last weekend. What I'd like to see, from here on, is this Redskin team take their clubs out and destroy lesser teams on their schedule. Then, perhaps, I'll believe.

Moving on, the Pope's visit to England was non-momentous - in terms of a news story it ended up nil. I want to add to my comments, inasmuch as the church is not the perfect institution some might think it is. I think that it does not accept change easily, and (again, as an institution) for far too long the church fathers exercised an extreme amount of self-preservation and face-saving techniques instead of addressing very real problems facing it. Again, cowardly. The pope is attempting to demonstrate that, at the very least, he's no coward.

There are some, I fear, who are seeking to use this as an opportunity to effectuate change in the church's structure simply because they smell blood in the water. There may be a day when the Catholic church allows female clergy to minister, but to use these victims as a way to elbow an issue like that into the abuse scandal is appalling. Yes, the church is slow to change. No, I see no reason why women could not be priests. Not my call to make.

Ever heard the term "cafeteria Catholics?" It's a derogatory term used most often by self-righteous conservative prigs who've decided that they live and bleed the Catholic faith through their faithful observance of it. It means, for example, that a Catholic who voted Obama isn't as good a Catholic as they are. Or, a Catholic who does not attend Mass weekly is not as good as them. It's a value-based judgment, and name-calling does little to help anyone. One of the best things about Catholicism is it's "Big Tent," there are liberals and conservatives but first and foremost we are united by faith. That unity, in the American church anyway, seems frayed. It's my wish, maybe a silly dream, that this Pope's example wakes us all up a bit.

Hmmm... what else. Nothin' much. Not feeling much like railing against Tea Parties (Republicans in libertarians' clothing - or nutcases?), or Frat Parties, or Tupperware Parties. G'night, folks.

The shotgun post for the week

I've been sick this week, and that allowed me some time to write earlier in the week but as the illness (another sinus infection) worsened I just lost the energy.

Now, thanks to modern medicine, I'm feelin' much perkier. Thanks.

Hey Ardell, why don't you "follow" this thing? Yes, that is a shameless request for followers. If the E.G. can figure out how to be a follower.....I mean, c'mon.

(of course, I hear it's a pain in the butt to set up the google account thingie, and honestly- if this is the payoff for all of that effort- I get it.)

But, again, c'mon....I want/need/crave followers. My enormous but fragile male ego demands it (and that ego is a harsh mistress). OK, I'll buy my next 10 followers new cars. There.

Hell, my blog's as good as anyone else's. Except that it lacks a defined point-of-view, is not updated regularly, and is not about anything in particular. Clearly, a job in sales is not a good next career choice for me.

In no order - ALL OVER THE PLACE -just as they pop into my drug-addled mind:

Ines Sains: like I said, nothing to see here. This has been much-discussed and expounded upon, without any real "evidence" to suggest that much happened. Of course, my pal Clinton Portis went and opened his mouth (Albert Haynesworth helpfully taped it shut). I'm not sure that Mrs. Sainz (apparently married with kids) walks into locker rooms "wanting" the fellas therein. I think she was doing her job. Do I think she presents herself professionally? Nope. But she's got a right to dress how she likes so long as it's cool with her employer. I guess it is.

The Pope: Il Papa Benedict is a brave man. Going to Anglican soil when you are a celebrated Pope as John Paul II was is one thing. Going in the midst of a real crisis in the worldwide Catholic church is quite another. The most powerful leaders are not celebrities, they are examples. Benedict is showing how one seeks forgiveness in this world. Not by hiding in a guarded temple or an ivory tower, but by carrying the church's cross in the streets. His courageous humility is inspiring. When a person has committed a sin -a wrong- against another, the call is to admit the sin and atone. Not hide. This is not an easy thing to do, apologies are difficult, and sometimes impossible.

No, this does not excuse the behavior of the malfeasors or their Church apologists and enablers. It does not take away the pain and humiliation suffered by the abused. Nothing could - not all the money in the world - and the Church has alot.

But, through this act, I hope and pray that the Church's message of forgiveness and love are once again elevated. One of the best hymns sung in my church, the one that carries a positive, uplifting message, says in part that "we are the light of the world, may our light shine before all, that they may see the good that we do and bring glory to God." It's about leading by setting a good example, not screaming at everyone that they're misbehaving.

Anyway, back to Il Papa. It is a step, I suppose. Perhaps an important one. No, I didn't have to google the verse...buttheads.

Illnesses: I don't like them.

My wife: Love this lady. Helped nurse me back to health and kept our little household afloat while I was getting better. Thanks, Carol, ya make me very, very happy.

Hockey: Ice hockey practices begin tonight and I've blundered in to being an assistant coach. Our eldest is a decent - if lazy - player. Gotta whoop that boy into skating shape. There go Monday and Friday nights...where's my whistle?

Baseball: Dodgers and Red Sox pretty much dead. O's and Nats have been dead since...May, I think. See ya in 2011. I'll watch more come playoff time.

Fantasy Football: I'm awful. Ranked 12th in a 12-player league. I have Favre and Flacco (oh, yeah, great weeks) and then had Ryan Grant (done for the season, dammit). So I replace Grant with Cadillac Williams.....ugh. Ray Rice? Not so great last week but the Ravens and Jets won't see each other again. Miles Austin was fine, I got sneaky and thought Josh Cribbs would blow up (FAIL). I've got Dallas and Baltimore on D, which I'm happy with. Overall.....Sucktastic.

VMA's: we watched these on the DVR last night. The host, Chelsea Handler, sucked. She did Bob Hope schtick with...ooooohhh... some edgy words thrown in. You can say vagina? Wow! I was so, like, shocked. Yawn. Lots of Gaga. I'll muse on Gaga another blog, but she should stick to the singing and not the talking. There were lots of staged "outrageous" moments.....at some point one realizes that he/she is no longer in MTV's demographic.. and I guess this is Exhibit Z2 in the list of exhibits. They sucked.

Sons of Anarchy: umm, getting kind of whiny and mopey, Jax. More ass-kicking, less existentialism-lite.

Football picks: I wanna do this, and it's my blog so I can. I have no expertise at all, and no track record. Still, those dopes on TV know as much as I do. I won't offer much reasoning, it's like a high-functioning primate picking games based on helmet colors....

Arizona - Atlanta : Falcons, Pittsburgh got lucky last week.

KC- Cleveland: Chiefs. Since Cribbs is on my fantasy team, kiss o' death

Baltimore-Cincinnati: until the Bengals get going, Ravens. That offense is more potent than what was seen Monday night. Still, they wear purple, and one of Baltimore's favorite sons is John Waters, who once filmed a man - dressed as a woman- eating dog poop. Maybe that's where the purple comes from. Still, even though this one's in Cincy....Ravens.

Chicago-Dallas: Two decent-to-good defenses. Cowboys at home with more offensive weapons...they would've beaten the 'Skins had they run the ball more (and if their O-line could block instead of clothesline).....Dallas.

Philly-Detroit: Lions. My upset. Lions were jobbed last week. This week, at home, I think it's a really close win for Detroit.

Buffalo-Green Bay: Aaron Rogers.

Pittsburgh-Tennessee: Titans at home.

Miami-Minnesota: Favre.

Tampa-Carolina: Bucs. Long season for the Panthers.

Seattle-Denver: Seattle. Unless they were the neon greens.

St. Louis-Oakland: these cities have teams?....Oakland.

Jax-San Diego: tough. Take Bolts at home, but not by much

Patriots-NY Jets: I think the Pats want to serve up some revenge against their rivals. NY's offense was bad against the Ravens....but that's the Ravens. Patriot D needs time to grow, they're young. Jets D will do the job, but - like the Bengals - until that Jet offense gets on-track I'd favor the Pats.

Houston-Redskins: I think the Redskins win with a scheme in this game. If they try to play it straight, and not take away Andre Johnson AND stuff the run - this gets ugly. Tough order, I think Houston's likely to win, but not impossible for the Redskins.

NY Giants-Indy: Don't care. Giants.

New Orleans-San Francisco: former rivals in the old NFC West. No contest, this week. Saints.

Have a blessed weekend. I will. And no, I'm not buying anyone any cars - not even me.

Inez Sainz and Zeke Mowatt...has there been progress?

So, yeah, there she is with some fine upstanding baby-kissing teddybears from the Indy Colts, I guess. Could be Dallas. Can't really tell. But, yeah, that's her.

Ms. Sainz is a journalist from Brasil who covers sporting events for (I could be wrong) a Mexican TV network. She's more well-known today than she was 4 days ago, I'm betting.

Allegedly, some of the fine, upstanding players for the NY Jets harassed her....somehow. I watched her interview with Meredith Viera this morning at 7:30, and what I took away from it was that she thought members of the team (she was in the locker room) were talking about her. She says she heard nothing explicit or derogatory....just that they were talking about her. Couldn't identify what was said...but she was certain they were talking about her.

Um, oooooooooook.

I've said somewhere (Facebook, e-mail, my line of inspirational books....the line blurs) that girls mess up football. I was joking, they don't. I've met ladies who are big fans, and some who are more versed in the game than myself. It's pretty obvious in today's world that there's a place at the table for the female NFL fan. Big tent, right?

In 1988 or so, I recall the New England Patriots getting into a similar bind with a Boston area reporter who was in the locker room. These players were rude and threatening. I think that the highest-profile player was a guy named Zeke Mowatt, who was a NY Giant tight-end who'd moved to New England. Anyway, these Patriot players were naked and walking towards this woman reporter, apparently combining physically threatening behavior with lewd words and gestures.

There was a big fuss made of this, and rightly so. Yes, it was a locker room...but no, fellas, you can't do anything you want. She wasn't a groupie or some fan looking to find a baby's daddy. She was a legit Boston reporter looking to interview players after a game. My recollection is that Patriot ownership dealt with those guys rather harshly.

Fast-forward, and reference the photo above. The Brasilian reporter deserves to be treated with dignity and decorum. By all accounts, she was. The Today show interview featured some of her modeling shots, and Meredith Viera suggested that, somehow, the provocative photos might be inappropriate for a journalist who wants to be taken seriously. Apparently, this particular reporter struts around the sidelines in tank-tops and bootie jeans. She looks great, I can't take that away from her. And, as far as she can explain, the Jets players were "saying something" that she interpreted to be "about her."

As much as I'd like to slam the Jets, I don't see it. If she could state, "they were coming on to me and making sexual comments" then I'd get it. This almost reeks of the reporter's own ego getting in the way of a story - and making a new one up in the process.

I clerked for a crusty old Judge, who advised me once to stack juries with women. I had to ask why, so he told me that they'll make their minds up quickly and then never doubt their own judgments - even if they're incorrect. In this case, applying his fairly misogynistic reasoning, if she decided that "they were talking about" her - even if they were not - it wouldn't matter, she'd have made up her mind.

While it's true that some women can be , and choose to be, of the closed-minded type...the same is true of men. I'd have no idea if that's the case with Ms. Sainz. But I would argue that some decorum is required in this world if you want to be taken seriously by others. A lawyer would not go into court with flip-flops on. An accountant would not meet his prospective corporate clients in ripped tee-shirt and jeans. A President would not address this country in his swimming trunks.

Similarly, if she wants to be taken seriously by the subjects of her interviews, Ms. Sainz should consider how she is dressing and carrying herself around the locker rooms of the various sports teams she covers. If it walks like a bimbo, and talks like a bimbo, and dresses like a bimbo....this aint exactly rocket science, folks.

I'd argue that we have come a long way since 1988 and Zeke Mowatt. The Jets players might not have been perfectly behaved little angels, here, but they were a far sight better-behaved than Zeke and the Pats were all those years ago.

Much ado about very little. Nothing to see, folks, move on.

.....And now, presenting, subsection (c)...blah

Watching a Baltimore Ravens game is a bit like watching baseball. The game's always slow and the score's always low. Obviously, for Ravens fans, that works in their team's favor as it typically means their vaunted D is cranked up to optimal performance. For the average fan of football, I'd say that watching a Ravens game is like watching paint dry. Boooooring.

Last night, more of the same. One touchdown. Plenty of big hits and exciting plays, but less scoring than there is at a comic book convention. Excuse me, Miss, would you like to hear me discuss at length the ins and outs of the 3-4 defense scheme. Oh, and by the way, my team wears purple shirts and the numbers are in a weird font.

Bet it gets the chicks dressed like Leia Organa (in her Palace girl garb, of course) hot. Good luck with that.

I live near Baltimore and attended school there. I was there when the Orioles were pretty good and when the Browns moved to town and became the Ravens. Oh, and I was here when the Colts moved.

I'm against moving NFL teams around. The Colts should still be here, and it sucks that they're not. Baltimore was a great sports town with great fans. Now, as a result of the Irsays' move and the O's struggles, they're a good sports town with an inferiority complex. They mask this by being pure and unadulterated homers.

I'll illustrate. Baltimore fans despise the Redskins. I don't really get that. The teams play in different divisions and don't even play each other but...what... every 8 years? From 1983 to 1995 Baltimore had no team, and ALLEGEDLY, the then-owner of the Redskins (Jack Kent Cooke) conspired with the NFL to keep a new team out of Baltimore as he would argue that it was his "territory."

No, there's no proof of this collusion - there doesn't have to be. If people believe it is so - then it is. Interestingly enough, in 2004, the Oriole's owner made the same argument to keep the MLB from allowing the Expos to move to DC. This, apparently, was OK with Baltimore fans.

So, in 1995 the Browns skip outta Cleveland and move to Baltimore. The new "fans" were atwitter about the new team and the new duds (purple...why?) and predicted Super Bowl, right away...great things just around the corner.

Nope. They had some decent players and a decent offense at the time but had to build. And build they did. While the Redskins spent the seasons 1995-2000 buying players in a Steinbrenner-esque display of avarice and profilgacy, the Ravens built through the draft. The results were obvious, a 2001 championship testimony to what really works.

In between that, significantly, was the great theater of the Ray Lewis trial. The resulting scandal led many Raven fans to feel uneasy about Ray-Ray and his jerseys were practically nonexistent around here. Nowadays? Well, America's collective memories are short and he was determined to have been not guilty (not "innocent", just "not guilty") of the charges. Today, as portrayed in the Baltimore media, Ray's a teddy-bear off the field and a lion on it.

Raven fans are alot like Steeler fans. The ones that I know seem to get really invested with the team from the ground up, which means they REALLY watch the preseason games with great interest and follow the new kids who are working hard for roster spots. They refer to their players by first name, like "Ray" or "Joe" instead of "McNabb" or "Orakpo". The TV and radio guys do this, too. It's a marked distinction from the cooler and more detached Redskin announcers. I won't pass any value judgment on it, I'll simply say I'm more comfortable with cooler and detached....and everyone who knows me won't be surprised to hear that.

Redskin fans don't notice the Ravens, other than to look longingly at their roster and win totals. Good drafts, good coaching, wish it was us. Alot of 'Skins fans follow the Ravens after November 1st, when their team is usually officially out of the playoff hunt. As a fan of the 'Skins, this doesn't trouble me one bit. I'm not one of those fans, but it's cool. Big tent, people.

What bugs me when I watch the Ravens is how they inject alot of WWE crap into the game, especially on defense. This appears to stem from the fertile mind of Ray Lewis, who struts out like a purple peacock onto the field and begins his little intimidation game. I can't argue with the man's play on the field - it's beyond reproach - he is truly a great middle-linebacker for his team. But I can live without the prison-yard school-yard theatrics after...EVERY. SINGLE. PLAY.

(he's hardly alone, all teams have clowns that do this, including the Redskins. I think Laron Landry flexes after every play, even on the sidelines)

So, last night I'm listening on the radio as they're tossing the coin, and Ray's voice is audible with....loud gibberish about his house and being men and blah blah blah. I guess that motivates his teammates to go and do what they do....because they just keep doing it. Maybe I'm getting old and I don't understand screaming and yelling at people to get them to reach they're optimal performance....

(although, I like watching that guy D. West scream at the teenagers with shi&*y attitudes on "Maury"...big fun!!!)

There was alot of pushing and shoving after every 1-yard run last night. Alot of chest-puffing and strutting and flexing. Between the Jets and Ravens last night, it really was like watching a WWE wrestling match. And, it struck me as stupid and pointless.

In between all of that was a great but boring defensive game. Gruden verbally completed Ray Lewis and the Jets' Revis as great players. But it was sloppy, and dull....one TD is hardly fun to watch.

This is how Ravens games go. Lots of field goals, very little scoring. I'd hoped that, with the addition of some great WR talent, the Ravens could score...but they didn't put on a fireworks show last night. In this "era" of great offensive teams, the Jets and Ravens (at least last night) made offense ....offensive.

And, to sum up the Ravens...they just won, as they tend to do.

Oh, for the love of....week 1 - subsection (b)

Yeah, I'm using all that statutory construction crap they forced upon us in law school. If you're slow to learn, Week 1 subsection (a) would've been the Thursday night game, yesterday was (b), and so forth.

A couple years ago I was diagnosed with severe allergies to all kinds of stuff. Dogs (I have 2), molds, some grasses, and - best of all - house dust. Explain to me, exactly, how one avoids dust.

Why is this relevant? I've spent nearly 10 days fighting off some kind of cold/viral thing that has bloomed into some kind of an infection. This allowed me plenty of couch time yesterday to watch football.

Only gonna blog on the games I actually watched, and even then I won't be particularly compelling. Saw the Pats-Bengals game and I think Tom Brady's putting some good heat on his passes. He looks far better than he did a year ago, and it was cool to see Welker back in action at full speed after his scary injury. The Patriot D looked serviceable until late in the game when the Bengals made a decent comeback run that fell short. But, by then, the game was pretty damned close to out of reach.

The Bengals.....what the hell? Good QB and receivers. Decent runner. I don't get all the offensive futility. As for the Cincinnati D, what gives? These guys play in the AFC North with the Rapists and Ravens...they'd better get their crap together.

Speaking of the Pittsburgh Rapists, I got to see the end of the game vs. Atlanta....lucky break in OT. Karma's a bitch, you'll see. Who wants their Fathead?

Clocked some time with Philly-Green Bay, ugh. Not a good first half to watch. So, I switched to "Out of Africa" which was a great book but only an OK movie when compared to the book (Meryl Streep, Robert Redford, and the Ngong Hills....I'm not gay). The second half was exciting, Aaron Rogers showed up and played a decent half, Mike Vick was accused of mistreating Philadelphia fans by dangling a win in front of them....and then screwed the pooch by being Michael Vick. Woof woof.

Carol made these great grilled cheese sandwiches and served up the tomato soup I'd brewed up from all the tomatoes in our garden (I make pretty good tomato soup).

Then it was time for the Main Event....

I dig "Football Night in America." Pretty good hour plus of highlights and analysis, and I'm glad they've pared down the on-air crew. I like Bob Costas, sue me. In that hour, I saw how the Lions wuz rooooobbbbbed. That was a catch. I like how Tony Dungy illustrated this by way of a replay from last season's Super Bowl, where a 2-point conversion was deemed a catch. Poor Detroit.

THIS is why I'm a crappy fan. Sympathy. I love the Patriots and was cheering them on during the earlier game vs. Cincinnati....but at some point I was watching the Bengals struggle and I thought "Oh, those poor Bengal fans...think about it, little Billy or Bettie hoping beyond all reason that their Bengals will win this game...."

Is that weakness? I suppose it's pathetic. I won't apologize for not being The Tin Man. I gots a heart.

Likewise, I felt for Detroit fans. That call sucked. And Stafford was knocked out. Damn.

SO, Skins-Cowgirls with the great McNabb-Tony Homo faceoff. Man, the Cowboys started that game running well and Miles Austin is pretty damned good at receiver. Collinsworth is gushing about Austin's lower body strength whilst the NBC cameras are focusing----pruriently I must point out-----on the man's ass. I'm not a marketing guy and have no expertise in the matter, but I doubt the NFL's main demographic is "men who enjoy looking at another man's strong lower body while hearing a former NFL athlete wax euphoric over the look of aforementioned athlete's lower body."

Look, I don't know Collinsworth from Cornwallis, but this isn't the first time he's gushed like this on national TV. It's weird, OK? Yeah, Miles Austin is strong. I'm pretty sure of this. And he fills out his spandex waaaay better than me. I'm cool with this, too - I suffer few delusions. But I found that verbal digression weird, bordering on bizarre.

Are you like me? Do you laugh out loud when they talk about "running up the a-hole?" Funny, right?

Back to the game. The new Redskins Offense was up against a very good Dallas D, and they performed fairly poor. BUT, zero turnovers...a point worth noting. Dallas usually beats the Skins in these weird games, and this time it looked no different. When Hall returned the fumble for a TD at the half I allowed myself a glimmer...which faded after the 2 missed TD catches and the missed FG. It was like...."DEFLATE BALLOON, GET READY FOR NEXT YEAR, BOB."

The skins D played well, however. Even so...why did Dallas abandon the run? It was kind of working for them. More weirdness.

Of course, we all know the result... Oh, happy day, mighty Dallas fell. They won't be 19-0 this season. No surprises there, I guess. But what's this? Sympathy for the devil? I actually felt bad...Romo made that throw to Williams..felt bad for Barron, who was being picked on, poor dude (I've had worse days)...... the refs won that game for ole DC.

It was exactly the kind of game the Redskins have been finding ways to lose for 17 seasons. Yeah, I'm realistic...Dallas should've won. But, I'm a fan, Hail to the Redskins!

This too passed

Some years ago I ham-handedly attempted to engage a dear friend in conversation about September 11th, kind of a "where were you that day?" kind of question. Her reply was silence. At first, it struck me as odd, because I just kind of fill the air with noise when I get talking and probably overshare what's going on in my cranium. That, really, was that - end of that thread of the conversation.

But it demonstrates how people can deal with that kind of trauma in a public way (eulogies, life-affirming exercises, etc) and an intensely private way. So it is with all such things, I suppose.

Well, over the years I've heard several 9-11 stories. Two former classmates of mine worked in the WTC and were late to work that morning, thus escaping calamity. For me, that's as close to the tragedy as I ever got - and it's remote at that. Of course, I've also heard the stories of men and women who volunteered their lives for a military career, the stories of the brave men and women who risked all they had to help saves lives, and the (to my eyes and ears) extraordinary bravery of the everyday people on Flight 93 over Shanksburg, Pennsylvania, who made damned sure the terrorist bastards didn't blow up another building full of people.

My story is simple, and probably trite. But it's mine. There's no bravery or anything exceptional in it.

Nine years later and this morning the sky is high and blue, it feels like God's turned on the A/C unit and the air is clean and dry. Feels just like it did that morning.

I was a defense lawyer working with my dad's firm, and business was picking up. I'd attracted a few good cases and money was trickling in - perhaps slower than I'd have liked but it was coming in nonetheless.

I still recall the client's name, up in Washington County, Maryland, a guy with a bunch of misdemeanor charges pertaining to varied alleged traffic offenses. I was bouncing on my toes while waiting to talk to the prosecutor, I think it was a little before 8:00 in the morning. Over the next hour I managed to convince her of the glaring weaknesses of her case and by 9am we were strolling out of the courthouse unscathed. I was a big, swinging DEFENSE lawyer who'd gamed the system. I totally rocked.

So I thought. I switched on the radio but was only half-listening as I returned to my office. I checked in with my secretary and bragged a bit about how great it'd gone, I think I might've spoken to another lawyer. I recall hearing Howard Stern say something about an airplane striking one of the 2 towers, but it didn't immediately sound credible - almost a put-on. I switched stations and another DJ mentioned it. From then on, well --- we all lived through it so there's no point in me regurgitating it all.

So, once back to the office, the first thing I'm thinking is that it's another Oklahoma City nutcase intent on taking out Federal offices. I call Carol and beg her to get our 2 kids out of the building (they were in the daycare) and pick up Sarah (kindergarten) and get home. Which, thankfully, she did. I guess, like everyone else, I monitored the news and got the updates when the towers fell and when the plane in Pennsylvania went down. I got a call from a pregnant woman who's husband had just been killed in a rear-end accident near the intersections of Rte 29 and I-95 in Columbia (of course, this meant $$$ to the lawyers). I could not then - nor can I now- comprehend how she managed to survive that period of time in her life.

My recollection thereafter grows foggy with time. I recall things slowly returning to "normal" and how we - as a country - resumed our silly partisan ways. I recall soccer practices, paying bills, dealing with raising 3 kids while both of us were working full-time.

I guess it was later that year, I was stressed out by all the driving and running and The Struggle To Get It All Done....I sat with Carol around Christmas 2001 and said "what are we doing this for?"

I had entered law school after kicking around as a landscaper and teacher. I think I woke up one morning and gave it all the forethought of an A.A. Milne title: "Now I Shall Grow Up and Become a Lawyer." Honestly, I was grasping. I had no idea how to support my budding family on what I was making - and my options appeared limited. I did OK in law school, my career track was there, if I wanted it.

I enjoyed practicing law when I won cases, and liked it alot less when I lost. I think that's human enough. But - above all -I never LOVED it. Some people do, God bless 'em. From that starting point, the rest was simple.

What did I stand for? I had a family, that's a good start - though we hardly seemed like one. We were 5 people in constant motion. There was some anger, resentment, resignation, but above all I think there was frustration with where we were in life and where it looked like we were headed.

So. The Great Conclusory Statement. Change. I worked out a part-time schedule with my firm that would enable me to stay home with the pre-school "twins" (they're 14 months apart) and maintain a modicum of a practice. Probably one of the best decisions of my life. I haven't regretted it since. In part thanks to 9-11, and the reflection it sparked in my head.

And, well, that's my little story.

Without 9-11, there'd be no stay-at-home Dad at this address. I hope God blesses the men and women who lost their lives that day, and continues to bless our country and our world.

Summer's all done

So, my summer officially ended today when I brought all of the surfboards home and started trying to figure out the long list of scheduling obligations that are rapidly filling up our calendar between now and June 2011. That good ole' school calendar wreaks havoc, doesn't it?

And, of course, I've got a summer cold. See? It's always something.

Speaking of "somethings," I've been pleased to see the overhwelming negative reply to the butthead in Florida who wants to burn copies of the Q'ran. I guess the problem was "created" when Gen. Petraeus put his name in the news...but our collective news media took the story and ramped it up.

Now, he got his name in the news and that prompted....well you could almost say that EVERY ONE of our public officials agreed that what this Rev. Whathisname was doing the wrong thing. President Obama, General Petraeus, Republicans, Democrats, Christians, Jews...perhaps through his nutty publicity stunt he's figured out a way to unify America where everyone else had failed.

I guess he helped find the outer edges of the lunatic's fringe. As with everything, we'll find out.

What's with issue and identity politics? I have tended to call myself "Democrat" but would never use that label in the same way I'd say "Redskins fan" or Catholic. In fact, I've voted for Republican Presidential candidates far more than Democrats. I have my opinions on the various issues that candidates give stump speeches on, but feel no need to shout down everyone else who disagrees.

Perhaps the pundits are correct, there's a silent middle in our country who simply stays quiet. I find the political gamesmanship all too counter-intuitive to make much sense. For example, I'm anti-abortion and anti-capital punishment. So....that makes me.....what?? Is there a Party of Confusion? Probably.

The NFL season kicked off last night with....a kinda lousy game between Minnesota and N'Orleans. Tick tock tick tock, Mr. Favre. Next time, try throwing to the guys wearing the same color jerseys as you. Oh, and that vaunted Minnesota D-line? Hmmm...this year they're not juiced. Minnie-ha-ha fans, bend and say R-U-N.

The contrast between opening day baseball and the NFL's opening bacchanal is breathtaking. Baseball's opening day is a beautiful, pastoral and sunny event - if you're truly lucky you get a sun-kissed warm April afternoon with a little pomp and circumstance...even better if your team wins.

The NFL? It's like the Nazis won the war. Product-placement galore, ads ads ads, and strippers, singers dressed like strippers, and announcers yelling at the national TV audience (or radio, I was listening on the road) over the yelling of the crowds. I love football but (as I've mentioned before) am souring on the "NFL experience."

Football games aint pro wrestling - I think that's what I'm saying. And, yes, I know they're called "cheerleaders" and not strippers. Coulda fooled me.

I've been ordered to sit at home and rest this cold. So I watched an old 70's flick by George Romero called "The Crazies." It's about a town that gets quarantined by the Army when a bioweapon virus is accidentally dumped into the town's water supply.

Hold up, wasn't this the plot of a zillion other movies? "28 Days Later" comes to mind. One of many. There are no new ideas anymore....

And, to illustrate the point, they "re-imagined" The Crazies earlier this year. Same damned movie. This is why I refused to buy tickets for The Karate Kid this summer. Life must be an endless loop. Wash, rinse, repeat. A merry-go-round. You'd think that the literary arts would offer respite, but you'd probably be wrong. I would be, too.