Free Football Picks

See the picture? These picks are the best.

Having fully digested the repulsive toxic stew that was Monday night's Redskin loss, I'm ready to get back in the saddle and ride some more. The Caps game last night helped a bit, even though I FB'd about yet another weird defensive collapse to the Buffalo Sabres. Not to worry, though, the good guys won.

You like hockey, right? I do, but am getting a little annoyed by the way that Alex Ovechkin barrels after loose pucks only when there's an empty net. If you want to see how a person should shoot on an empty net, look up Alexander Semin's amazing shot from last night's game. That's harder than it looks, folks.

Back to football of the National variety, here's my cold-as-stone locks:

Chicago at Miami: I can either watch this game or catch up with "The Walking Dead." I'm leaning towards catching up, then tuning this one in late. Dolphins at home.

Buffalo at Cincinnati: The more talented team should be chosen, right? On paper the Bengals should win this handily. Since the game's not played on paper, Buffalo.

Detroit at Dallas: without Matt Stafford, I'll take Dallas. Though the Lions defense might be more than Dallas can handle (if they show up).

Washington at Tennessee: I'm believing in #5. Believing. Not really thinking. Just believing. Redskins to bounce back.

Arizona at KC: Chiefs at Arrowhead. No way Cardinals win this.

Green Bay at Minnesota: no laughing in Minnie-ha-ha. Packers prevail over Team Turmoil.

Houston at NY Jets: Team Underachievement versus Team Hype. Houston apparently has no defensive players who actually play football on Sundays. We'll call it the "Cardboard Cutout" defense. It's sheer genius, since then they don't have to pay actual people to play. Sorry, Mario Williams.....Jets.

Oakland at Pittsburgh: a few weeks ago, nay a month ago - this one looked like a laugher. IF Oakland can run the ball and IF Campbell can complete some play-action and IF the Raiders defensive backs can run with the Pittsburgh WR's and IF Richard Seymour and his linemates can pressure The Rapist then Oakland could have a chance. Steelers.

Baltimore at Carolina: Ravens. Next.

Cleveland at Jacksonville: you can get lucky 2 weeks in a row, just not insanely lucky. I think that Hillis guy can run. Browns.

Tampa Bay at San Francisco: Buccaneers are a rising team. 49ers were supposed to be. As a wise man once said, "well if "ifs" and "buts" were candies and nuts, oh what a Christmas party we'd have, next caller!" Bucs

Seattle at New Orleans: two inconsistent teams, but one's the defending Super Bowl champ. Saints.

Atlanta at St. Louis: Falcons. You're next!

Indianapolis at New England: Patriots looked really good last Sunday beating the Steelers in Pittsburgh. Colts have an offense that's playing valiantly despite all of their injuries but they have little left on defense. Pats.

NY Giants at Philadelphia: Eagle fans want desperately to cheer like madmen for another blowout win - this time at home and not at TFFKAJCKS. If the Giants show up like they did last week against Dallas, they might get their wish. Eagles.

Denver at San Diego: Denver is screwy. San Diego is screwy. Antonio Gates might now play, which is sucky. Chargers, only because they have Phillip Rivers and not Kyle Orton.

Enjoy The Rapture